Hmmm, who'll still be here, who'll return, who'll come out, will Nick turn Tory, will Cucking have a crisis of conscience and plough loads of money in to an orphanage, will the police finally capture Jamie?

I'll be Palace chairman/manager/centre forward/official cheerleader 'tester' (wonder what they'll look like in a decade? Anywhoo) but may occasionally pop back on for some advice. Always good to stay in touch with the fans. Lewisham Eagle will still be winning Young Poster of the Year, that's for sure.

More importantly, who do we reckon will have died? (In HOL terms of course)

If something can't be described in plain English, maybe you shouldn't base an entire society on it. Just saying.

And the Nugent in the car park gag will still be doing the rounds.

You fed me, you bred me, I'll remember your name.

The problem in capturing him has always been Jamie's superstitions:

- His lucky green Teflon coated claw-hammer.
- His lucky blue waterproof Rain-X coat.
- His lucky red sex-lorry with rotating plates.
- His lucky white "fvck me" running shoes.
- His lucky camouflage knife-dildo.

What the Police need to do is somehow give him some bad joo-joo by getting hold of one or more of the above. Once he's not in his element they might stand a chance; otherwise he's like the anti-Batman for street-walking prostitutes.

SINGLE MEN: Get a glimpse of married life by taping Woman's Hour on Radio 4, then playing it back at a higher volume than the TV whilst trying to watch something interesting.

I'll still be here finding excuses for Barcelona winning another ten Champions League titles, moaning about big clubs ruining future England players and verbally sucking off just retired Mile Jedinak.

Win-Win ?

You fed me, you bred me, I'll remember your name.

Good one Teej - or Teejay75 as you'll be known as then....

You fed me, you bred me, I'll remember your name.