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March 29 2024 10.11am

A case worthy of the Old Bailey

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View BarEagle's Profile BarEagle Flag Monmouth 11 Aug 15 7.15pm Send a Private Message to BarEagle Add BarEagle as a friend

Apparently a bloke in the pub says she can suck the bend out of a river after sucking a tennis ball through a straw.

Just sayin'

 

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View matt_himself's Profile matt_himself Flag Matataland 11 Aug 15 9.22pm Send a Private Message to matt_himself Add matt_himself as a friend

Quote ASCPFC at 11 Aug 2015 7.11pm

Quote matt_himself at 11 Aug 2015 6.55pm

She looks like the sort of woman who would be a f***ing nightmare to be around after she had 'consumed three or four cans of cider'.

If I was the judge I would give her life and bollocks to whether it was extrajudicial or not.


Would you let her off if it was two or three bottles of Spitfire?

No. You can imagine the type. There you are, in the pub, trying to watch the football or cricket or darts, and then she bowls up, says something funny across the pub to all its patrons to get them interested in her, before getting thoroughly mortal, insulting everyone, getting into a very specific slanging match with someone over something very minor, before her being led out by a friend for a smoke, whilst the women is still spitting bile about something inconsequential that has offended her to the point of violence but with her make up now looking akin to something Kiss would go on stage wearing circa 1976, as it streaks down her face.

She will then befriend a psychotic looking lone drinker who makes threatening gestures to all in the bar who have somehow incurred this woman's wrath, she is pointing them out to him, then she leaves the pub declaring that all the customers are a 'bunch of w***ers' before declaring she is better than all of them before falling down the stairs giving everyone a glimpse of her piss stained knickers and bingo wings.

As a side note, normally on this type of pub night, the match you went to watch throws up a result that is completely opposite to what Palace need at the time, I.e., Sunderland win 3-0 away to a disinterested Man City in April.

I have encountered her sort, have had pleasant evenings ruined as a consequence and as a result plead with the Judge to hand down to her the harshest penalty available to him in this instance.

 


"That was fun and to round off the day, I am off to steal a charity collection box and then desecrate a place of worship.” - Smokey, The Selhurst Arms, 26/02/02

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Tom-the-eagle Flag Croydon 11 Aug 15 9.24pm

Quote matt_himself at 11 Aug 2015 9.22pm

Quote ASCPFC at 11 Aug 2015 7.11pm

Quote matt_himself at 11 Aug 2015 6.55pm

She looks like the sort of woman who would be a f***ing nightmare to be around after she had 'consumed three or four cans of cider'.

If I was the judge I would give her life and bollocks to whether it was extrajudicial or not.

Would you let her off if it was two or three bottles of Spitfire?

No. You can imagine the type. There you are, in the pub, trying to watch the football or cricket or darts, and then she bowls up, says something funny across the pub to all its patrons to get them interested in her, before getting thoroughly mortal, insulting everyone, getting into a very specific slanging match with someone over something very minor, before her being led out by a friend for a smoke, whilst the women is still spitting bile about something inconsequential that has offended her to the point of violence but with her make up now looking akin to something Kiss would go on stage wearing circa 1976, as it streaks down her face.

She will then befriend a psychotic looking lone drinker who makes threatening gestures to all in the bar who have somehow incurred this woman's wrath, she is pointing them out to him, then she leaves the pub declaring that all the customers are a 'bunch of w***ers' before declaring she is better than all of them before falling down the stairs giving everyone a glimpse of her piss stained knickers and bingo wings.

As a side note, normally on this type of pub night, the match you went to watch throws up a result that is completely opposite to what Palace need at the time, I.e., Sunderland win 3-0 away to a disinterested Man City in April.

I have encountered her sort, have had pleasant evenings ruined as a consequence and as a result plead with the Judge to hand down to her the harshest penalty available to him in this instance.


So you would then

 


"It feels much better than it ever did, much more sensitive." John Wayne Bobbit

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View fed up eagle's Profile fed up eagle Flag Between Horley, Surrey and Preston... 11 Aug 15 11.48pm Send a Private Message to fed up eagle Add fed up eagle as a friend

They really are blowing the tax payers money here

 

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View Canterbury Palace's Profile Canterbury Palace Flag Whitstable 12 Aug 15 6.06am Send a Private Message to Canterbury Palace Add Canterbury Palace as a friend

If they don't want people to down a load of Scrumpy and perform oral sex on their significant other in the middle of a park, they shouldn't force them to endure Paloma Faith. That fact that she is being vilified rather than commended for playing blowjob roulette on an unconscious man with IBS really is a damning indictment of modern society. PC gone mad.

 


We were somewhere around Barstow, on the edge of the desert, when the drugs began to take hold...

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suicideatselhurst Flag crawley 12 Aug 15 8.48am

and the person that was so shocked by the events, then just had to film the whole incident, just to show how shocking it all was ??? waste of time money and effort

 


Theres someone in my head ... But its not me

X/Box game Tag bazcpfc1961, clan (HMS)

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View steph_eagle's Profile steph_eagle Flag Thornton Heath 12 Aug 15 8.56am Send a Private Message to steph_eagle Add steph_eagle as a friend

Quote matt_himself at 11 Aug 2015 9.22pm

Quote ASCPFC at 11 Aug 2015 7.11pm

Quote matt_himself at 11 Aug 2015 6.55pm

She looks like the sort of woman who would be a f***ing nightmare to be around after she had 'consumed three or four cans of cider'.

If I was the judge I would give her life and bollocks to whether it was extrajudicial or not.


Would you let her off if it was two or three bottles of Spitfire?

No. You can imagine the type. There you are, in the pub, trying to watch the football or cricket or darts, and then she bowls up, says something funny across the pub to all its patrons to get them interested in her, before getting thoroughly mortal, insulting everyone, getting into a very specific slanging match with someone over something very minor, before her being led out by a friend for a smoke, whilst the women is still spitting bile about something inconsequential that has offended her to the point of violence but with her make up now looking akin to something Kiss would go on stage wearing circa 1976, as it streaks down her face.

She will then befriend a psychotic looking lone drinker who makes threatening gestures to all in the bar who have somehow incurred this woman's wrath, she is pointing them out to him, then she leaves the pub declaring that all the customers are a 'bunch of w***ers' before declaring she is better than all of them before falling down the stairs giving everyone a glimpse of her piss stained knickers and bingo wings.

As a side note, normally on this type of pub night, the match you went to watch throws up a result that is completely opposite to what Palace need at the time, I.e., Sunderland win 3-0 away to a disinterested Man City in April.

I have encountered her sort, have had pleasant evenings ruined as a consequence and as a result plead with the Judge to hand down to her the harshest penalty available to him in this instance.


Sounds like a normal Saturday night for me

 

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jamiemartin721 Flag Reading 12 Aug 15 10.05am

Quote suicideatselhurst at 12 Aug 2015 8.48am

and the person that was so shocked by the events, then just had to film the whole incident, just to show how shocking it all was ??? waste of time money and effort

In fairness, its probably the best way to get the police interested in the case, do their job for them and then present it as a video of a woman fellating a man in a park.

I'm not sure that her defense of 'helping him to the toilet' makes it more hardcore or not.

As for people who are shocked by this, I can only imagine that they've never used the internet.


 


"One Nation Under God, has turned into One Nation Under the Influence of One Drug"
[Link]

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jamiemartin721 Flag Reading 12 Aug 15 10.06am

Quote steph_eagle at 12 Aug 2015 8.56am

Quote matt_himself at 11 Aug 2015 9.22pm

Quote ASCPFC at 11 Aug 2015 7.11pm

Quote matt_himself at 11 Aug 2015 6.55pm

She looks like the sort of woman who would be a f***ing nightmare to be around after she had 'consumed three or four cans of cider'.

If I was the judge I would give her life and bollocks to whether it was extrajudicial or not.


Would you let her off if it was two or three bottles of Spitfire?

No. You can imagine the type. There you are, in the pub, trying to watch the football or cricket or darts, and then she bowls up, says something funny across the pub to all its patrons to get them interested in her, before getting thoroughly mortal, insulting everyone, getting into a very specific slanging match with someone over something very minor, before her being led out by a friend for a smoke, whilst the women is still spitting bile about something inconsequential that has offended her to the point of violence but with her make up now looking akin to something Kiss would go on stage wearing circa 1976, as it streaks down her face.

She will then befriend a psychotic looking lone drinker who makes threatening gestures to all in the bar who have somehow incurred this woman's wrath, she is pointing them out to him, then she leaves the pub declaring that all the customers are a 'bunch of w***ers' before declaring she is better than all of them before falling down the stairs giving everyone a glimpse of her piss stained knickers and bingo wings.

As a side note, normally on this type of pub night, the match you went to watch throws up a result that is completely opposite to what Palace need at the time, I.e., Sunderland win 3-0 away to a disinterested Man City in April.

I have encountered her sort, have had pleasant evenings ruined as a consequence and as a result plead with the Judge to hand down to her the harshest penalty available to him in this instance.


Sounds like a normal Saturday night for me

Pretty much pub life round our way. Although most of our local pubs don't have stairs, safety reasons.


 


"One Nation Under God, has turned into One Nation Under the Influence of One Drug"
[Link]

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View Superfly's Profile Superfly Flag The sun always shines in Catford 12 Aug 15 1.42pm Send a Private Message to Superfly Add Superfly as a friend

I'm lost as to what part of the 'helping a chap to the toilet' procedure involves putting his Johnson in your cakehole

 


Lend me a Tenor

31 May to 3 June 2017

John McIntosh Arts Centre
London Oratory School
SW6 1RX

with Superfly in the chorus
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View Stuk's Profile Stuk Flag Top half 12 Aug 15 2.42pm Send a Private Message to Stuk Add Stuk as a friend

Guilty. How the f*** did it take 2 days?

[Link]

 


Optimistic as ever

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View npn's Profile npn Flag Crowborough 12 Aug 15 2.52pm Send a Private Message to npn Add npn as a friend

Quote Stuk at 12 Aug 2015 2.42pm

Guilty. How the f*** did it take 2 days?

[Link]


I bet that verdict stuck in the throat

 

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