Great HOL s***-off

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Red-Blue-Yellow Surrey 30 Sep 15 1.16pm
I was staying the night at a mate's squat after a party the night before (summer 1972). 6am we got raided by the Bill and about a dozen of us were carted of to Kingston Police Station in the old style Black Marias. I needed a dump, I told them I needed a dump. They ignored me. I told them again, they ignored me again. I took a dump in their nice clean little cage in their nice clean little van.......they made me clear it up later. I also enjoy posting on: Love Everton Forum, the Acceptable Face of Scouse Football. [Link] twitter.com/LuvEvertonForum Come and give it a look, new members would be lovely. Come and JOIN. Or they'll nick your telly.
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Red-Blue-Yellow

Surrey 30 Sep 15 1.16pm

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I was staying the night at a mate's squat after a party the night before (summer 1972). 6am we got raided by the Bill and about a dozen of us were carted of to Kingston Police Station in the old style Black Marias.

I needed a dump, I told them I needed a dump. They ignored me. I told them again, they ignored me again. I took a dump in their nice clean little cage in their nice clean little van.......they made me clear it up later.

I also enjoy posting on: Love Everton Forum, the Acceptable Face of Scouse Football.
[Link]
twitter.com/LuvEvertonForum
Come and give it a look, new members would be lovely.
Come and JOIN.
Or they'll nick your telly.

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rednblueblood 30 Sep 15 3.59pm
Quote Red-Blue-Yellow at 30 Sep 2015 1.16pm I was staying the night at a mate's squat after a party the night before (summer 1972). 6am we got raided by the Bill and about a dozen of us were carted of to Kingston Police Station in the old style Black Marias. I needed a dump, I told them I needed a dump. They ignored me. I told them again, they ignored me again. I took a dump in their nice clean little cage in their nice clean little van.......they made me clear it up later. No sh1t! In dog beers I�ve only had one.
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rednblueblood 30 Sep 15 3.59pm

Quote Red-Blue-Yellow at 30 Sep 2015 1.16pm

No sh1t!

In dog beers I�ve only had one.

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WeAreTheFamousCPFC Wallington 02 Oct 15 4.28pm
Who will actually be the judges? We need to Flush out the weak stories. Pride Of South London... South London's Number 1.... You Know It's True..... WE'RE RED AND BLUE PSN - CPFC_Dave
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WeAreTheFamousCPFC

Wallington 02 Oct 15 4.28pm

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Who will actually be the judges? We need to Flush out the weak stories.

Pride Of South London... South London's Number 1.... You Know It's True..... WE'RE RED AND BLUE

PSN - CPFC_Dave

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eagleman13 On The Road To Hell & Alicante 02 Oct 15 5.28pm
Forest Hillbilly will win this 'bottoms' down..... he famous for his deficating posts I'm a blind man, i'm a blind man, now my room is cold, When a blind man cries, Lord, he feels it from his soul. [Link]
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eagleman13

On The Road To Hell & Alicante 02 Oct 15 5.28pm

Forest Hillbilly will win this 'bottoms' down..... he famous for his deficating posts

I'm a blind man, i'm a blind man, now my room is cold,
When a blind man cries, Lord, he feels it from his soul.
[Link]

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rednblueblood 02 Oct 15 8.07pm
I'd hate to be a LOOser In dog beers I�ve only had one.
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rednblueblood 02 Oct 15 8.07pm

I'd hate to be a LOOser

In dog beers I�ve only had one.

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sa_eagle Just outside Cape Town 05 Oct 15 3.56pm
Quote matt_himself at 28 Sep 2015 3.07pm I was thinking that maybe we should have a reality-type thing based upon s*ting. We could set targets each week - maybe who can have the most, the biggest, the one that most looks like Gus Poyet, the one in the most unusual place - and then after twelve weeks, HOL's champion s*ter could be named based on a predetermined points system. Who is up for this? Looking at some of the stuff in the General threads I think you're a bit late with your suggestion. Cynic or realist? It's a fine line!
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sa_eagle

Just outside Cape Town 05 Oct 15 3.56pm

Quote matt_himself at 28 Sep 2015 3.07pm

I was thinking that maybe we should have a reality-type thing based upon s***ting.

We could set targets each week - maybe who can have the most, the biggest, the one that most looks like Gus Poyet, the one in the most unusual place - and then after twelve weeks, HOL's champion s***ter could be named based on a predetermined points system.

Who is up for this?

Looking at some of the stuff in the General threads I think you're a bit late with your suggestion.

Cynic or realist? It's a fine line!

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Qwijibo Bournemouth 05 Oct 15 9.34pm
Quote Part Time James at 28 Sep 2015 4.10pm Maybe we could put it on TV. Could Gillian McKeith get a part on the panel? Kind of like a sh*t critic version of Simon Cowell. Maybe she could spin around on a chair like in The Voice lamenting failed endeavours from constipated contestants. Just thinking out loud now, this as probably already been done. Edited by Part Time James (28 Sep 2015 4.10pm) No, no, this is a great idea. "Turn On, Tune In, Drop [one] Out"
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Qwijibo

Bournemouth 05 Oct 15 9.34pm

Quote Part Time James at 28 Sep 2015 4.10pm

Maybe we could put it on TV. Could Gillian McKeith get a part on the panel? Kind of like a sh*t critic version of Simon Cowell.

Maybe she could spin around on a chair like in The Voice lamenting failed endeavours from constipated contestants.

Just thinking out loud now, this as probably already been done.

Edited by Part Time James (28 Sep 2015 4.10pm)

No, no, this is a great idea.

"Turn On, Tune In, Drop [one] Out"

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sniffer dagenham The narm, Dagennarm 05 Oct 15 10.01pm
Sorry people have been spouting sh1t on these pages for many years.
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sniffer dagenham

The narm, Dagennarm 05 Oct 15 10.01pm

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Sorry people have been spouting sh1t on these pages for many years.

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matt_himself Matataland 06 Oct 15 3.56pm
I have recently changed my diet to be more vegetable and fruit rich and someday a I just consume fruit and vegetables. I have discovered that this produces a different type of stool to that created by consumption of steak and Chablis. Yesterday I went for my second movement of the day and was pleasantly surprised to find that I had produced the perfect poo. It was about six inches long, two inches in diameter and was perfectly crimped at the ends into an almost aerodynamic slant. If anyone sees it washed up on a beach, I implore you to photograph it or show it to your kids as inspiration for what they could achieve I they really put their mind to it. Edited by matt_himself (06 Oct 2015 3.59pm) "That was fun and to round off the day, I am off to steal a charity collection box and then desecrate a place of worship.� - Smokey, The Selhurst Arms, 26/02/02
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matt_himself

Matataland 06 Oct 15 3.56pm

I have recently changed my diet to be more vegetable and fruit rich and someday a I just consume fruit and vegetables. I have discovered that this produces a different type of stool to that created by consumption of steak and Chablis.

Yesterday I went for my second movement of the day and was pleasantly surprised to find that I had produced the perfect poo. It was about six inches long, two inches in diameter and was perfectly crimped at the ends into an almost aerodynamic slant.

If anyone sees it washed up on a beach, I implore you to photograph it or show it to your kids as inspiration for what they could achieve I they really put their mind to it.

Edited by matt_himself (06 Oct 2015 3.59pm)

"That was fun and to round off the day, I am off to steal a charity collection box and then desecrate a place of worship.� - Smokey, The Selhurst Arms, 26/02/02

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Hoof Hearted 06 Oct 15 4.00pm
[Link] The Bristol Stool Scale!
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Hoof Hearted 06 Oct 15 4.00pm

[Link]

The Bristol Stool Scale!

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Part Time James 06 Oct 15 4.20pm
Quote matt_himself at 06 Oct 2015 3.56pm I have recently changed my diet to be more vegetable and fruit rich and someday a I just consume fruit and vegetables. I have discovered that this produces a different type of stool to that created by consumption of steak and Chablis. Yesterday I went for my second movement of the day and was pleasantly surprised to find that I had produced the perfect poo. It was about six inches long, two inches in diameter and was perfectly crimped at the ends into an almost aerodynamic slant. If anyone sees it washed up on a beach, I implore you to photograph it or show it to your kids as inspiration for what they could achieve I they really put their mind to it. Edited by matt_himself (06 Oct 2015 3.59pm) Ah, a textbook poo. I am often greeted with raised eyebrows when I suggest to my colleagues that I could be a poo model but some of the ones I have done are the kind of thing you'd put on the front cover of a faecal based equivalent to GQ or Cosmopolitan.
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Part Time James

06 Oct 15 4.20pm

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Quote matt_himself at 06 Oct 2015 3.56pm

If anyone sees it washed up on a beach, I implore you to photograph it or show it to your kids as inspiration for what they could achieve I they really put their mind to it.

Edited by matt_himself (06 Oct 2015 3.59pm)

Ah, a textbook poo. I am often greeted with raised eyebrows when I suggest to my colleagues that I could be a poo model but some of the ones I have done are the kind of thing you'd put on the front cover of a faecal based equivalent to GQ or Cosmopolitan.

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Hoof Hearted 07 Oct 15 9.40am
Quote matt_himself at 06 Oct 2015 3.56pm I have recently changed my diet to be more vegetable and fruit rich and someday a I just consume fruit and vegetables. I have discovered that this produces a different type of stool to that created by consumption of steak and Chablis. Yesterday I went for my second movement of the day and was pleasantly surprised to find that I had produced the perfect poo. It was about six inches long, two inches in diameter and was perfectly crimped at the ends into an almost aerodynamic slant. If anyone sees it washed up on a beach, I implore you to photograph it or show it to your kids as inspiration for what they could achieve I they really put their mind to it. Edited by matt_himself (06 Oct 2015 3.59pm) It sounds like you did a perfect "4" on the Bristol Stool Scale. Bravo Sir!
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Hoof Hearted 07 Oct 15 9.40am

Quote matt_himself at 06 Oct 2015 3.56pm

If anyone sees it washed up on a beach, I implore you to photograph it or show it to your kids as inspiration for what they could achieve I they really put their mind to it.

Edited by matt_himself (06 Oct 2015 3.59pm)

It sounds like you did a perfect "4" on the Bristol Stool Scale.

Bravo Sir!

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