I used to have a flat just off Streatham Common.

One night about 2 am the phone went. I ran to it fearing some kind of emergency. Instead the voice on the other end said:

"Hello. I saw your number in the toilets".

" *boggle* You saw my number where?"

"In the toilets. On Streatham Common". (Yes, there is or at least was a bog block there, on the High Road opposite the Greyhound pub. I guess it is a well-liked cottaging venue; there were a lot of people done for dogging about this time in the car park on the south side about half-way up).

"Are you there now?"

"(eagerly) Yes, yes!"

"OK".

I then reported this conversation to the police.

(It goes without saying - I hope! - that he had certainly *not* seen my number in those or any other toilets).

Edited by chateauferret (27 Dec 2015 9.44pm)

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The Ferret
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.... and he seems to know a lot about the history and geography of a cottaging venue!

What are the odds that some disgruntled ex-boyfriend put his number there?

Maybe his name shouldn't be "chateauferret" but "chateauhamster" or "chateaugerbil" ?

LOL

It's always good to warn a cold caller that you are a rude nasty individual and give them the opotinity to hang up or they will get abuse

Off to a good start PTJ

Just had a call about my recent accident....

I asked 'which one?' The recent one apparently.

I then informed the scouse lady on the phone I had had quite a few over Christmas as since it had been a bit wet I had taken to 'borrowing,' anything suitable at chucking out time from the pub and driven them home in a drunken stupor with a few knocks and after bouncing off a few pedestrians.

Her next question 'So were any of these your fault?'

Edited by orpingtoneagle (07 Jan 2016 3.06pm)

Thank you npn for brightening up a very dull day. Made me actually laugh out loud.

Four wheels drives the body - Two wheels drives the soul