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March 29 2024 1.08am

nuisance calls.

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View becky's Profile becky Flag over the moon 10 Dec 15 6.47pm Send a Private Message to becky Holmesdale Online Elite Member Add becky as a friend

One of my favourites is when I see an international call come up I just pickup the receiver and say "I've done it, but there's blood everywhere - what should I do now?"

They hang up pretty sharpish.

Second one is to say in a very posh and curt voice "state your department and security code please" I repeat this until they start to waffle a bit at which point I tell them that they have reached a high security number and that the government are now tracing their call and to expect armed response shortly........ That shuts the buggers up and they never seem to call back

 


A stairway to Heaven and a Highway to Hell give some indication of expected traffic numbers

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View orpingtoneagle's Profile orpingtoneagle Flag Orpington 10 Dec 15 7.08pm Send a Private Message to orpingtoneagle Add orpingtoneagle as a friend

I did once tell them I had a £1 million loan from the Bank of China which I needed to buy the Wishy Washy Chinese Laundry.

It seems I definitely had PPI on it (they checked!) and they could get it back!

My other one is any call centre in India...

Keep em talking for a bit they are usually students and all say one day they would love to study in London. After a few minutes I tell them they have in fact been calling the security team at the UK border agency. That the number they are calling from has been traced and sophisticated voice recognition has verified their identity. They are now on a visa black list extending to include all direct relatives.

That tends to shift them and much laughter in the home or office!

 

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View Part Time James's Profile Part Time James Flag 11 Dec 15 10.15am Send a Private Message to Part Time James Add Part Time James as a friend

I love these, some great ideas!

 




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View kayjaybee's Profile kayjaybee Flag orpington 11 Dec 15 4.26pm Send a Private Message to kayjaybee Add kayjaybee as a friend

when someone calls asking for someone or another , i just tell them that i can't help them cos i am a burglar and happened to pick up the phone

 

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View Midlands Eagle's Profile Midlands Eagle Flag 11 Dec 15 6.45pm Send a Private Message to Midlands Eagle Add Midlands Eagle as a friend

Quote anerley_eagle at 10 Dec 2015 4.24pm

If you are getting nuisance calls you can register for TPS. Basically it puts you on a list and it then becomes illegal to cold call you.

Not all companies stick by the rules but the majority do. It's free to register so you've got nothing to lose.

I did it and nuisance calls to me have pretty much stopped.

I've been registered with TPS for years and although it has cut out a lot of nuisance calls it hasn't eliminated them entirely.

The most persistent ones that I get nowadays are about the car accident that I am alleged to have had and whilst I have tried most of the tricks expressed so far I now don't waste any time on them and just tell them to F off and put the phone down


 

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Hoof Hearted 12 Dec 15 11.46am

Quote Midlands Eagle at 11 Dec 2015 6.45pm

Quote anerley_eagle at 10 Dec 2015 4.24pm

If you are getting nuisance calls you can register for TPS. Basically it puts you on a list and it then becomes illegal to cold call you.

Not all companies stick by the rules but the majority do. It's free to register so you've got nothing to lose.

I did it and nuisance calls to me have pretty much stopped.

I've been registered with TPS for years and although it has cut out a lot of nuisance calls it hasn't eliminated them entirely.

The most persistent ones that I get nowadays are about the car accident that I am alleged to have had and whilst I have tried most of the tricks expressed so far I now don't waste any time on them and just tell them to F off and put the phone down



That's my experience too.... TPS appears to have no jurisdiction abroad and most calls come from there.

Sometimes rather than telling them to F off, it is more fun to pretend to be gay for men callers and a sexual pervert for women callers. They find that approach very uncomfortable!

I rarely get the car accident team anymore since I embarked on that strategy.

 

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View Kermit8's Profile Kermit8 Flag Hevon 13 Dec 15 4.08pm Send a Private Message to Kermit8 Add Kermit8 as a friend

Does the wife calling my mobile count?

 


Big chest and massive boobs

[Link]


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View collier row eagle's Profile collier row eagle Flag romford essex via another galaxy 13 Dec 15 4.44pm Send a Private Message to collier row eagle Holmesdale Online Elite Member Add collier row eagle as a friend

I love winding them up, had a call last year from a tosspot to say that they have recovered £430 bank charges, I said fantastic!!! I am going into town later, I will pop into the bank and collect! Ahh no can't do it like that, ok I said how do I get my money then? He said he needed to ask me some questions, how old am I ? I said that I was 18, do you have a barclaycard? Yes I said ( both blatant lies) he said that I had answered the questions correctly and would now need the long number on my barclaycard, I said ok it's upstairs, I'll just go and get it, I then put the phone on the side, went upstairs had a shower, toilet duties and got dressed which took about 20 minutes, when I came back down he had fu**ed off, he didn't ring back.
Had another recently asking about my car accident, I said what accident? He said he doesn't have that info, I said that's odd as I don't drive, the last accident I had was a couple of years ago when I sneezed and followed through, in other words I s*** my pants...I said anyway I don't talk to cold callers, he said why is that, I said cos your all c**ts,....he then hung up.

 

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View lankygit's Profile lankygit Flag Lincoln 13 Dec 15 6.36pm Send a Private Message to lankygit Add lankygit as a friend

When I am up for it,and have the time,I string them along for as long as I can.Or until I get bored.
At least they are not preying on unsuspecting people for that time.

 


Is this a five minute argument, or the full half hour? [Link]

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bubble wrap Flag Carparks in South East London 14 Dec 15 1.39pm

Majority of calls come from call centers, Computer systems call your number and when you answer any sales person avaliable has to take the call, Some of these centers have hundreds of staff. If you do not answer your number goes back into the system and they keep calling until the make contact. PPI,Insurance,Surveys etc are done mainly by the same company using the same records and computer system. Its the same when you call say your bank or Virgin Media often its the same call center. Majority of the companies that use these call centers are charged by the time that the operator is on the phone so the shorter you make the call the less money the call center makes.

 

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View npn's Profile npn Flag Crowborough 14 Dec 15 2.03pm Send a Private Message to npn Add npn as a friend

I'm sorry, I have Tourettes.

Then just let rip.

PPI, yes I'm interested in that c*nt bucket spunk drizzle

Ah the car crash? Yes, that was a sad day sh1t covered cauliflower with peas

Endless hours of fun (and you can even drop the obscenities and just be totally random when the kids are around)

 

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View dannyh's Profile dannyh Flag wherever I lay my hat....... 14 Dec 15 2.32pm Send a Private Message to dannyh Add dannyh as a friend

I get the accident chasers on my mobile, I answer and say I'm driving at the minute can I help you ? then scream and bang the speaker, then russle it on my coat a bit then cut them off.

 


"It's not the bullet that's got my name on it that concerns me; it's all them other ones flyin' around marked 'To Whom It May Concern.'"

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