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March 29 2024 2.47pm

When did you realise that the roles had reversed?

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View Vaibow's Profile Vaibow Flag vancouver/croydon 06 Feb 16 9.21pm Send a Private Message to Vaibow Add Vaibow as a friend

Originally posted by -TUX-

The only question asked in the post was 'At what point did you realise that the roles has reversed?'. As far as i'm aware, no-one has yet answered that particular question, ourselves included.
My post purely asked the question of why send mum 'away' when being at home and being cared for by a loving family is obviously better is it not? Our 'olds' are always going to need help in later years. It's natural.
Of course i feel sorry for Matt (as i do anyone in his situation) but we all know it's going to happen one day so why do so many not plan for this?
The family unit has been ever-so slowly destroyed over the past 3-4 decades for some reason. For many many centuries, the young take the place of the old and the cycle continued happily. But now? We generally palm off the people we love into someone else's hands. That's just wrong.

I'm not being 'sh-tty', that's just your opinion. Todays 'throw away culture' extends further than many seem to think. That's just my opinion.





He clearly stated, "have a flat that is fit for purpose and have the care they need" He doesn't appear to be 'palming her off'.

Again, you don't know the situation - never assume. I think the throw away culture you described isn't half as bad as the self entitled/righteous brigade!

 


This was once a quality forum....

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jamiemartin721 Flag Reading 07 Feb 16 2.01pm

Sorry to hear that, truly, watching the detrition of a parent is a terrible thing.

 


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pefwin Flag Where you have to have an English ... 08 Feb 16 6.20pm

It is a relief to know this wasn't a dildo / girlfriend admission.

Seriously, it is not nice but an increasing part of life for most. You say "they" so is your Dad invalided as well?

You may not like me one jot but be strong BUTvyou can't do it on your own however strong you think you are.

A question to ponder would be would you have preferred to lose your Mother as child, like some who post on here, or to be where you are with decades of memories. I suppose there is a happy medium but that's up to chance, god, or whatever one believes in.

 


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View matt_himself's Profile matt_himself Flag Matataland 12 Feb 16 10.12pm Send a Private Message to matt_himself Add matt_himself as a friend

Originally posted by -TUX-

The only question asked in the post was 'At what point did you realise that the roles has reversed?'. As far as i'm aware, no-one has yet answered that particular question, ourselves included.
My post purely asked the question of why send mum 'away' when being at home and being cared for by a loving family is obviously better is it not? Our 'olds' are always going to need help in later years. It's natural.
Of course i feel sorry for Matt (as i do anyone in his situation) but we all know it's going to happen one day so why do so many not plan for this?
The family unit has been ever-so slowly destroyed over the past 3-4 decades for some reason. For many many centuries, the young take the place of the old and the cycle continued happily. But now? We generally palm off the people we love into someone else's hands. That's just wrong.

I'm not being 'sh-tty', that's just your opinion. Todays 'throw away culture' extends further than many seem to think. That's just my opinion.





I believe that you are full of 'good intentions' rather than fun of experience.

The biggest lesson I have taken on board over the past few weeks is that never underestimate the freedom, or the sense of freedom, experienced by the older generation.

Beyond that, I couldn't give a stuff what you think, as quite clearly TUX, you have NEVER cared for the older generation.

I suggest that you go and pleasure yourself.

Enjoy,

 


"That was fun and to round off the day, I am off to steal a charity collection box and then desecrate a place of worship.” - Smokey, The Selhurst Arms, 26/02/02

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View matt_himself's Profile matt_himself Flag Matataland 12 Feb 16 10.16pm Send a Private Message to matt_himself Add matt_himself as a friend

Originally posted by Hoof Hearted

Matt - how old is your mother, how long has she had Parkinsons, and what is she like now?

I say this out of my own concern.... I was diagnosed with Parkinsons roughly 2 years ago and have already noticed a marked deterioration.... I will be 62 this June.

I am scared of the future - I really am. I have many of the usual symptoms already like difficulty swallowing food, balance, my right arm is effectively useless and I get pins/needles and cramp constantly in my legs.

I have already given up thinking about watching Palace live and I'm just a prisoner in my own home mostly.

My wife does her level best to help me, and thank heavens she does. The rest of my family live over 100 miles away.

I hope things go well for your mum and her illness and I'm sure she's grateful for your help and control of her situation.

my major worry is that my wife fails to cope or falls ill herself as we have no sons or daughters to call upon if things go bad.

Good - you have my respect.

Parkinson's is a fickle mistress. What medication are you on? I ask this because the medication is worse, in many respects, than the symptoms.

You and all Parkinson's sufferers, have my utmost respect.nseeing my mother, a proud woman, being scare of the outside and being social, fills me with sadness.

Anything I can do, let me know. I wish you he best.

 


"That was fun and to round off the day, I am off to steal a charity collection box and then desecrate a place of worship.” - Smokey, The Selhurst Arms, 26/02/02

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View matt_himself's Profile matt_himself Flag Matataland 12 Feb 16 10.18pm Send a Private Message to matt_himself Add matt_himself as a friend

Originally posted by pefwin

It is a relief to know this wasn't a dildo / girlfriend admission.

Seriously, it is not nice but an increasing part of life for most. You say "they" so is your Dad invalided as well?

You may not like me one jot but be strong BUTvyou can't do it on your own however strong you think you are.

A question to ponder would be would you have preferred to lose your Mother as child, like some who post on here, or to be where you are with decades of memories. I suppose there is a happy medium but that's up to chance, god, or whatever one believes in.

I cannot express how much I dislike you and your 'sense of humour'.

Pick on someone else going forward.

 


"That was fun and to round off the day, I am off to steal a charity collection box and then desecrate a place of worship.” - Smokey, The Selhurst Arms, 26/02/02

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View Jimenez's Profile Jimenez Flag SELHURSTPARKCHESTER,DA BRONX 12 Feb 16 10.52pm Send a Private Message to Jimenez Add Jimenez as a friend

All the best old chum.

 


Pro USA & Israel

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Hoof Hearted 13 Feb 16 11.29am

Originally posted by matt_himself

Good - you have my respect.

Parkinson's is a fickle mistress. What medication are you on? I ask this because the medication is worse, in many respects, than the symptoms.

You and all Parkinson's sufferers, have my utmost respect.nseeing my mother, a proud woman, being scare of the outside and being social, fills me with sadness.

Anything I can do, let me know. I wish you he best.

Hi Matt,

Thanks for your response.

I am on a dopamine replacement called Co Careldopa. This has been gradually increased in strength since I was first diagnosed.

At present I am not sure what effect this is having on me - it may be beneficial and slowing the deterioration but it's not like taking an aspirin where you can feel the effects.

I too suffer like your mother and at times am scared to go out of the house. I cannot imagine being in a crowded pub or enjoying the atmosphere at Selhurst. Physically and mentally this would challenge me now.

I live for lively exchanges on here, visitors to my home and seeing Palace play on TV or Laptop.

Thank you for your good wishes and I hope your mother's condition does not deteriorate too quickly.

 

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Hoof Hearted 16 Feb 16 12.41pm

Originally posted by matt_himself

I cannot express how much I dislike you and your 'sense of humour'.

Pick on someone else going forward.

You think Pefwin has a sense of humour?

All I notice is a very regular penchant for a snidey comment aimed at me designed to irritate.

Strange person, always on the sidelines - never in the heart of a debate.

 

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View Pawson Palace's Profile Pawson Palace Flag Croydon 16 Feb 16 1.27pm Send a Private Message to Pawson Palace Add Pawson Palace as a friend

Weird I had this experience about 2 years ago when my dad had to have a complete bypass operation in his leg and then nearly died of septicaemia.

I felt the baton pass over then and it was a weird feeling as everyone was allowed to be upset about it except for me as being the oldest brother I had to keep a stiff upper lip throughout it all.

It's not easy mate but keep the faith.

 


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View Harpo's Profile Harpo Flag Oxfordshire 16 Feb 16 11.08pm Send a Private Message to Harpo Add Harpo as a friend

For those of you caring for elderly parents - and do so out of love, you are so lucky.

My father is 93, and called me recently saying that he managed to get upstairs, but did't have the energy to get into the bath. Some day soon he will call me saying that he is halfway up the stairs, unable to get up or go down.

He will not move out of the family house into somewhere safer, so we just wait for the telephone call telling us he is in a crumpled heap at the foot of the stairs.

We are all inconvenienced by the selfish bigot that is my father. He is totally unaware of what is going on in the world - he will not listen or watch the news because he believes that they sensationalise stories! He was moaning about something, so I suggested that he was lucky not to be living in Carlisle or York. Puzzled, he asked why, having no clue about the flooding in the north.

I have a father who was completely indifferent about parenthood - to myself and my five siblings.

I still would like to do what's best for my father, but he has no care about making life simple for us, but definitely does for himself.

For those who provide care with devotion and love, consider how lucky you are.

 

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