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April 25 2014 5.05am

I say,I say ,I say.....crap joke thread!

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View sniffer dagenham's Profile sniffer dagenham Flag The narm, Dagennarm 15 Sep 09 3.39pm Send a Private Message to sniffer dagenham Add sniffer dagenham as a friend

The Wrong Bitch

The train was quite crowded, and a U. S. Marine walked the entire length looking for a seat. There seemed to be one next to a well-dressed, middle-aged, French woman, but when he got there, he saw it was taken by the woman's poodle. The war-weary Marine asked,

"Ma'am, may I have that seat?"

The French woman sniffed and said to no one in particular, "Americans are so rude. My little Fifi is using that seat..."

The Marine walked the entire train again, but the only seat available was under that dog. "Please, ma'am. May I sit down? I'm very tired."

She snorted, "Not only are you Americans rude, you are also arrogant!"

This time the Marine didn't say a word; he just picked up the little dog, tossed it out the train window, and sat down.

The woman shrieked, "Someone must defend my honour! Put this American in his place!"

An English gentleman sitting nearby spoke up. "Sir, you Americans seem to have a penchant for doing the wrong thing. You hold the fork in the wrong hand. You drive your autos on the wrong side of the road. And now, sir, you seem to have thrown the wrong bitch out the window."

 


Only the best motorsports on 1st Gear Tesday nights from 6pm on Phoenix 98FM or [Link]

The Palace always gets a mention one way or another.

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View teejay61's Profile teejay61 Flag The Cup of Sid 19 Sep 09 9.13am Send a Private Message to teejay61 Add teejay61 as a friend

Why did the Baker have brown hands ?

Because he kneaded a poo

 


Supporting the mighty CPFC since September 1971

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Red Card - User has been banned Don Rogers Tache Flag hanging around the local Taco Bell... 07 Oct 09 12.36pm

When I was a lad,mum would send me to the shop with 50p.I could get a chicken,2 pints of milk,a comic,6 eggs and a pair of jeans.
You just can't do that these days.f***ing CCTV cameras!

 


I know you are but what am I?

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View Dazzling's Profile Dazzling Flag Sutton 07 Oct 09 12.47pm Send a Private Message to Dazzling Add Dazzling as a friend

Newly-weds turn up at hotel & ask for the honeymoon suite, Receptionist asks, "Do you have reservations?" Bride says "I'm a bit worried about taking it up the arse."

 

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Red Card - User has been banned Don Rogers Tache Flag hanging around the local Taco Bell... 07 Oct 09 12.48pm

Quote Dazzling at 07 Oct 2009 12:47pm

Newly-weds turn up at hotel & ask for the honeymoon suite, Receptionist asks, "Do you have reservations?" Bride says "I'm a bit worried about taking it up the arse."


 


I know you are but what am I?

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View Clint Hill's Profile Clint Hill Flag Sidcup 11 Oct 09 9.59pm Send a Private Message to Clint Hill Add Clint Hill as a friend

A funeral service is being held for a woman who has just passed away. At the end of the service, the pallbearers are carrying the casket out when they accidentally bump into a wall, jarring the casket. They hear a faint moan. They open the casket and find that the woman is actually alive! She lives for ten more years, and then dies. Once again, a ceremony is held, and at the end of it the pallbearers are again carrying out the casket. As they carry the casket towards the door, the husband cries out, 'Watch that wall!'

 

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View Mr Statto's Profile Mr Statto Flag Ifield 13 Oct 09 7.54pm Send a Private Message to Mr Statto Add Mr Statto as a friend

How was the Roman Empire cut in half?

With a pair of Caesars!

Boom Boom

 


That's just the ramblings of a madman

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View Mr Statto's Profile Mr Statto Flag Ifield 13 Oct 09 8.01pm Send a Private Message to Mr Statto Add Mr Statto as a friend

I sat up all night wondering where the sun had gone. Suddenly, it dawned on me

 


That's just the ramblings of a madman

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View APDcpfc's Profile APDcpfc Flag London 14 Oct 09 12.34am Send a Private Message to APDcpfc Add APDcpfc as a friend

Whats the only thing that climbs the walls and scares Jews?


Gaspipes

 

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View canditab's Profile canditab 14 Oct 09 1.09am Send a Private Message to canditab Add canditab as a friend

Quote APDcpfc at 14 Oct 2009 12:34am

Whats the only thing that climbs the walls and scares Jews?
Gaspipes

Us Jews are also scared of Burglars; one of them climbs into you house, oy vey does the home insurance go up!

Why are Jewish men circumcised?
Because Jewish women won't touch anything unless it is 20% off

 


?

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Red Card - User has been banned Don Rogers Tache Flag hanging around the local Taco Bell... 14 Oct 09 1.22am

Quote APDcpfc at 14 Oct 2009 12:34am

Whats the only thing that climbs the walls and scares Jews?


Gaspipes

Not in the spirit of a crap joke thread.
Don't want these kind of jokes here!

 


I know you are but what am I?

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View jdubyah15's Profile jdubyah15 Flag Purgatory 14 Oct 09 1.27am Send a Private Message to jdubyah15 Add jdubyah15 as a friend

I don't know if somebody's said this already but here goes:

What do you call a guy with no limbs and whose hanging on the wall?

Art

What do you call a woman with one leg?

Eileen

What do you call a female lawyer?

Sue

 


Ari Gold: Lloyd, I see dead people. Why?

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