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April 19 2024 8.13pm

I say,I say ,I say.....crap joke thread! (LOCKED)

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View paperhat's Profile paperhat Flag croydon 08 Apr 14 9.53am Send a Private Message to paperhat Add paperhat as a friend

Peaches Geldof has been found dead.

Poppers, e's and whizz were found in the kitchen.


Her other sisters were out shopping.

 

Clinton is Clinton. I have known him for a long time, I know his mother... Simon Jordan
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View monkey's Profile monkey Flag Sittingbourne,Kent 11 Apr 14 6.21pm Send a Private Message to monkey Add monkey as a friend

the Chinese plane that went down, its been reported they've found the wings................now all they need to do is find the wongs.

 

Made in Bromley

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eaglesforward Flag thailand 11 Apr 14 10.42pm

A woman walked up to a little old man rocking in a chair on his porch. I could-n't help noticing how happy you look"" she said. Whats your secret for a long happy life?""i smoke 3 packs of cigs a day"" he said. I also drink a case of whiskey a week, eat fatty foods and never exercise.
thats amazing, said the woman, how old are you?
26 he said.,
,

 

don't feed the seagulls

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View Johnny Eagles's Profile Johnny Eagles Flag berlin 16 Apr 14 10.48pm Send a Private Message to Johnny Eagles Add Johnny Eagles as a friend

I've recently been reading long records of historical events while making love. I'm starting to enjoy annal sex.

(Rubbish joke but I actually made it up myself!)

 

...we must expand...get more pupils...so that the knowledge will spread...
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View Horley Eagle's Profile Horley Eagle Flag Somewhere only I know 17 Apr 14 1.00pm Send a Private Message to Horley Eagle Add Horley Eagle as a friend

Quote Johnny Eagles at 16 Apr 2014 10.48pm

I've recently been reading long records of historical events while making love. I'm starting to enjoy annal sex.

(Rubbish joke but I actually made it up myself!)

Probably sounds funnier in German

 

Pinch me, I'm dreaming, but if it is don't let me know.
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View Red-Blue-Yellow's Profile Red-Blue-Yellow Flag Surrey 28 Apr 14 2.44am Send a Private Message to Red-Blue-Yellow Add Red-Blue-Yellow as a friend

WHAT DO YOU CALL A MAN WITH A SEAGULL ON HIS HEAD?

CLIFF.
---------
Where do Generals keep their Armies?

Up their sleevies.

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Things not to say in a Gay Bar, No.1:

"May I push your stool in sir?"

 

I also enjoy posting on: Love Everton Forum, the Acceptable Face of Scouse Football.
[Link]
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Come and JOIN.
Or they'll nick your telly.
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View Red-Blue-Yellow's Profile Red-Blue-Yellow Flag Surrey 28 Apr 14 3.28am Send a Private Message to Red-Blue-Yellow Add Red-Blue-Yellow as a friend

Remember,
Walls have Ears.

That's why I don't eat their sausages.
------------------
Where there's a Will, I want to be in it.
------------------
What do the initials 'TNT' stand for?

The National Dyslexia Association.

 

I also enjoy posting on: Love Everton Forum, the Acceptable Face of Scouse Football.
[Link]
twitter.com/LuvEvertonForum
Come and give it a look, new members would be lovely.
Come and JOIN.
Or they'll nick your telly.
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View Red-Blue-Yellow's Profile Red-Blue-Yellow Flag Surrey 01 May 14 1.28pm Send a Private Message to Red-Blue-Yellow Add Red-Blue-Yellow as a friend

"Who discovered we could get milk from cows, and what did he THINK he was doing at the time?"

"Don't buy one of those baby intercoms. Babies pretend to be dead. They're b******s, and they do it on purpose. "

A couple of Billy Connolly classics...I was going to add his Rangers vs Celtic gag (the one with poo in the shoe) but it's too long and I'm too lazy.

 

I also enjoy posting on: Love Everton Forum, the Acceptable Face of Scouse Football.
[Link]
twitter.com/LuvEvertonForum
Come and give it a look, new members would be lovely.
Come and JOIN.
Or they'll nick your telly.
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View Mapletree's Profile Mapletree Flag Croydon 01 May 14 1.46pm Send a Private Message to Mapletree Add Mapletree as a friend

Quote Johnny Eagles at 16 Apr 2014 10.48pm

I've recently been reading long records of historical events while making love. I'm starting to enjoy annal sex.

(Rubbish joke but I actually made it up myself!)


Is rubbing yourself against the Beano yearbook Annual Sex then?

Or sex to celebrate a divorce - annul sex.

Edited by Mapletree (01 May 2014 5.05pm)

 
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View CrazyLegs's Profile CrazyLegs Flag 08 May 14 4.58pm Send a Private Message to CrazyLegs Add CrazyLegs as a friend

Our ice cream man was found dead in the back of his van covered in 100 & 1000's


police say he topped himself[small]

 

d-.-b
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View Cannonball's Profile Cannonball Flag High in the Ozarks. 09 May 14 8.42pm Send a Private Message to Cannonball Add Cannonball as a friend


This asshole looked at my beer belly last night and
sarcastically said, "Is that Courage , Bud or Stella?"
I said, "There's a tap underneath; taste it and find out."

 

Touch my coffee and I will slap you so hard even Google won't be able to find you.
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View Ghostage's Profile Ghostage Flag Ross On Wye 12 May 14 1.18pm Send a Private Message to Ghostage Add Ghostage as a friend

I was really surprised to hear that Boko Haram had taken all those girls, I always thought that 'A whiter shade of pale' was such a peaceful song.

 
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