July 1 2001
Many Palace fans have witnessed some hilarious incidents while at Selhurst Park. Here is a selection...
Mid Eighties. Donald Barrett (fan) racing on to the pitch and decking the ref after a poor decision. The following week he was featured on an Ian St.John programme discussing football hooliganism.
When Ian St. John asked him why he did it, he replied: "Because I wanted to voice my opinion??!!". There were pictures of him at the turnstiles for years quite rightly banning him from entrance into the ground.
Another fan, after watching a rather dismal and uneventful game, Barnsley at home I think, ran onto the pitch took the ball, dribbled past two or three of their players and slotted the ball neatly past the keeper showing them how to do it. I think The News Of The World awarded him with Man Of The Match that weekend.
Queuing up for FA Cup Tickets and buiding a breeze block wall around Ron Noades' car was quite an amusing moment.
A Full Members game against Millwall. The attendance was so small that everyone was put into the Holmesdale. Seeing a Millwall fan being ejected by the police. Not funny you might think, but for the fact that it was a fighting woman fan.
I think I recall that incident when playing QPR at home over the Christmas period. I'm sure it's on one of the official videos and it was the season that we won the ZDS and finished third.
If it's the one that I'm thinking of then it had been snowing and Mark Bright was pretending to give the ref a kicking as he lay on the floor. It didn't knock him out but caught him on the back and knocked him clean off his feet.
Funniest moment for me was when all the blue and red balloons were flying around and my mate swung at one with his Palace News and the balloon smacked the bloke in front of us in the head. OK desn't sound as funny now but you had to be there.
Also the Blackburn game when we lost 3-2. For the whole match, we gave McAteer stick about his hair and his whinging to the ref. Shouts of "Mcateer where's your head and shoulders" and "I can see your dandruff" and "Him and Harrison are discussing hair tips."
Best of all was whenever he came near, the shout by about 20 of us of SHUT UP MCATEER!!! That match persuaded me to get a half season ticket.
This bloke, obviously slightly mad, the only bloke in the row, kept standing up and shouting gobble-di-gook at the players and there was the odd cry of sit down from people behind him. Then we all chanted sit down at him, then after we stopepd he started waving his arms and shouting "SIT DOWN, SIT DOWN, SIT DOWN!!!"
Then he turned around and said to us "Oh, sorry, I thought it was a chant." HAHA!!! PRICELESS!!!!!
Palace v Samsunspor a few years ago. Turks get whole of Whitehorse stand. They score the second goal, some bloke with a flag about the size of Luxembourg sprints along the front of the stand and half way across falls a rse over tit with it.Larf? I nearly dropped my Cup-a-soup.
Quite a few I'm afraid, sit back and enjoy the read...
I remember the game against Bolton about 4/5 seasons back when the Bolton winger came screaming down the wing trying to catch the ball going astray. It was two on one with Bolton with the advantage, when the ball boy pickes up the ball even though the Bolton geezer was gonna get it.
The winger told the ball boy to f**k off! - the ball boy got really scared and the ref booked the winger for shouting at the ball boy. Classic!!!!!
Another priceless moment was against Oxford in the 98/99 season and there was this really fat guy in front of me who took up three seats!! Every time we scored he missed it as we all stood up and he couldn't. Soooo funny!!!
Throwing the season tickets onto the pitch will also go down well in my memory.
I remember in the Prem season, I had the privilege of watching most games in an executive box. I remember at the game against someone like Coventry or something, there was this woman standing behind the goal before the match started.
Bruce Dyer comes out and starts shooting at an empty net. Three times on the trot he missed and the woman behind the goal got smacked in the head all three times. Classic!!
One more time in the box, I remember watching us play Sheff Wed on the last day of the season and you were not allowed drinks on the balcony. Anyway, I went into the actual room part of the box and when I saw the ball go in I ran out and jumped up and down spilling my whole drink on the people below - soooo funny, and i had to spend the last few minutes watching from inside!!!!
Selhurst has filled me with many memories, and I hope it will fill me with many more!!!
One of mine was probably on one of the family fun days. As usual, there were many a balloons floating around and I remember charging along one of the rows to gather another one to add to my bundle, not realising that it belonged to a six-year-old boy.
U should have seen the look on his face when someone three times the size of him came charging at him like a wildebeast!
For me it has to be the season tickets on the pitch, stewards, coppers and goal against Wolves.
Priceless to see, had me laughing for ages. More entertaining than the match anyway.
Walking down the Holmesdale Road when two kids were trying to trip each other over, one of the kids fell @rse over tit, got up and floored his mate...
Listening to Wimbledon's song when they beat us at Selhurst...(you know when they score), I mean what the hell was all that wierd rubbish about?
Right then here we go:
Firstly Yorkshire Eagle, I do remember the crying bloke at Pompey. "We can see you sneaking out"!
Then we have the fat man at West Brom home about four years ago. We were all shouting at him and he took his top off. The stewards then promptly chucked him out.
Another good one was Chelsea last time we were in the Prem. Two blokes in the Holmesdale were getting chucked out and they decided to tie their shoelaces to the seats. It took seven stewards to get them out.
And of course the classic Tango man at the Leicester play off '96.
I think that...when we played Birmingham, a long time ago...well, not that long ago. We were 1-0 down until the last minute- loads of people left early, but those who stayed were lucky enough to see an own goal. I think it was caused by Steve Evans' @rse or something. Still, nice to see the Brummies' faces after that.
I remember a really crap game (could be any match, don't ask me which one). Simon Rodger conceded about five corners simultaneously (so I can't spell) and after the third one or something, I remember Deano giving him a clout over the ear. That was amusing.
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