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Dating Stories

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View BudgiesBeak's Profile BudgiesBeak Flag London 25 Dec 20 7.08pm Send a Private Message to BudgiesBeak Add BudgiesBeak as a friend

This story goes back to my youth, which is quite a while ago now. I used to go out with an American girl. On our third date, she turned up wearing a Newcastle United shirt. I asked her about it, and she said "Oh - my previous boyfriend bought me this. He was a big fan of the club. I like the black and white stripes on this, so I wear the shirt a lot."
I said "I'm a Palace supporter by the way."
She looked at me blankly for a few seconds and said "You mean you support the Royal Family?"
Ouch!

 

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Tom-the-eagle Flag Croydon 25 Dec 20 8.54pm

Originally posted by BudgiesBeak

This story goes back to my youth, which is quite a while ago now. I used to go out with an American girl. On our third date, she turned up wearing a Newcastle United shirt. I asked her about it, and she said "Oh - my previous boyfriend bought me this. He was a big fan of the club. I like the black and white stripes on this, so I wear the shirt a lot."
I said "I'm a Palace supporter by the way."
She looked at me blankly for a few seconds and said "You mean you support the Royal Family?"
Ouch!

But you still f@cked her, right?

 


"It feels much better than it ever did, much more sensitive." John Wayne Bobbit

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View kingdowieonthewall's Profile kingdowieonthewall Flag Sussex, ex-Cronx. 25 Dec 20 9.45pm Send a Private Message to kingdowieonthewall Add kingdowieonthewall as a friend

first date (with the girl that is still my wife after 30 odd years, )I told her I had puppies and bunnies back at my flat..
she honestly believed me.
this generally still works

 


Kids,tired of being bothered by your pesky parents?
Then leave home, get a job & pay your own bills, while you still know everything.

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View Forest Hillbilly's Profile Forest Hillbilly Flag in a hidey-hole 26 Dec 20 8.56am Send a Private Message to Forest Hillbilly Add Forest Hillbilly as a friend

One of my first Summer jobs as a teenager was checking exam marking at Guildford university. There were around 100 teenagers doing the work, and I got really friendly with a girl (Elizabeth) sitting next to me. I visited her at her parents house and we went for walks at the weekend(s).
After our last working day, all the workers had a Disco in one of the halls at Guildford Uni'. I took the opportunity (fortified by beer) of asking Elizabeth for one of the slow dances. As we danced with our arms around each other, I took the opportunity of whispering in her ear, that "we should take things further". This was obvious to her, in any event, as I had the most massive erection that must have been poking her in her stomach.
She declined the offer as "she wanted to be just friends", and I never saw her again.

 


"The facts have changed", Rishi Sunak

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View Teddy Eagle's Profile Teddy Eagle Flag 26 Dec 20 9.37am Send a Private Message to Teddy Eagle Add Teddy Eagle as a friend


Took a girl back to my mum’s house who insisted on being made a hot drink. She fell down the stairs and splashed an impressive arch of coffee up the wall. In retrospect dashing into the bathroom to grab sponges and towels before inspecting the crumpled heap in the hallway wasn’t the best move. Things came to a satisfactory conclusion, for me anyway, but I didn’t see her again.

 

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View Spiderman's Profile Spiderman Flag Horsham 26 Dec 20 10.09am Send a Private Message to Spiderman Add Spiderman as a friend

Originally posted by kingdowieonthewall

first date (with the girl that is still my wife after 30 odd years, )I told her I had puppies and bunnies back at my flat..
she honestly believed me.
this generally still works

Serious question. If you are still with your wife after 30 years, why do you still need to use the puppy chat up line?

 

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View PalazioVecchio's Profile PalazioVecchio Flag south pole 26 Dec 20 10.30am Send a Private Message to PalazioVecchio Add PalazioVecchio as a friend

Statistical analysis of Dating Apps shows that most of the women are only interested in the top 5% or 10% of the men.

Tall, handsome, wealthy, successful etc.

All the young women on there can get some action, effortlessly. The men must struggle & strive to get it.

A Ronaldo would get pleny of interest, as would most premier league players. An amateur wannabe football player ? playing for a club in the Conference ? not so much.

Many women complain of all these 'pick up artist' untermenschen online. And the absence of a romantically committed Chris Hemsworth who will marry them.

There are many parallels with mammals in the animal kingdom then.

[Link]

Edited by PalazioVecchio (26 Dec 2020 10.58am)

Edited by PalazioVecchio (26 Dec 2020 10.59am)

 


Eze Peasy at Anfield....

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View kingdowieonthewall's Profile kingdowieonthewall Flag Sussex, ex-Cronx. 26 Dec 20 10.31am Send a Private Message to kingdowieonthewall Add kingdowieonthewall as a friend

Originally posted by Spiderman

Serious question. If you are still with your wife after 30 years, why do you still need to use the puppy chat up line?

in the context of her general daftness, not specific.

 


Kids,tired of being bothered by your pesky parents?
Then leave home, get a job & pay your own bills, while you still know everything.

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Tom-the-eagle Flag Croydon 26 Dec 20 10.39am

Originally posted by PalazioVecchio

Statistical analysis of Dating Apps shows that most of the women are only interested in the top 5% or 10% of the men.

Tall, handsome, wealthy, successful etc.

All the young women on there can get some action, effortlessly. The men must struggle & strive to get it.

A Ronaldo would get pleny of interest, as would most premier league players. An amateur wannabe player ? not so much.

There are many parallels with mammals in the animal kingdom then.


This is why I would always target the bottom 25%, far less competition and always grateful.

 


"It feels much better than it ever did, much more sensitive." John Wayne Bobbit

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View Badger11's Profile Badger11 Flag Beckenham 26 Dec 20 12.28pm Send a Private Message to Badger11 Add Badger11 as a friend

Originally posted by Tom-the-eagle


This is why I would always target the bottom 25%, far less competition and always grateful.

You sound like a mate of mine after he got divorced he was back on the dating scene.

He explained when I go to a party or club I head for the ugly girls, you're going to go home with one anyway so why waste the evening and money chatting up the dolly birds and getting nowhere.

Actually his new wife is a lovely lady so i think he was joking!

Edited by Badger11 (26 Dec 2020 12.29pm)

 


One more point

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View Willo's Profile Willo Flag South coast - west of Brighton. 26 Dec 20 1.16pm Send a Private Message to Willo Add Willo as a friend

Originally posted by Badger11

You sound like a mate of mine after he got divorced he was back on the dating scene.

He explained when I go to a party or club I head for the ugly girls, you're going to go home with one anyway so why waste the evening and money chatting up the dolly birds and getting nowhere.

Actually his new wife is a lovely lady so i think he was joking!

Edited by Badger11 (26 Dec 2020 12.29pm)

I used to know a delightful chap who was far from easy on the eye and generally proportioned.
He used to home in on attractive females and suffered instant rejection time and time again.He was certainly not deterred by being given the 'Cold shoulder' and kept persevering without any success whatsoever.

I did advise him,tactfully, to consider ladies who perhaps were not so much in demand but my words went unheeded.I did lose touch with this gentleman after I moved from the area and our paths haven't crossed since the 80s.Perhaps he married a 'Miss World' !!

 

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View chris123's Profile chris123 Flag hove actually 26 Dec 20 1.38pm Send a Private Message to chris123 Add chris123 as a friend

Originally posted by Willo

I used to know a delightful chap who was far from easy on the eye and generally proportioned.
He used to home in on attractive females and suffered instant rejection time and time again.He was certainly not deterred by being given the 'Cold shoulder' and kept persevering without any success whatsoever.

I did advise him,tactfully, to consider ladies who perhaps were not so much in demand but my words went unheeded.I did lose touch with this gentleman after I moved from the area and our paths haven't crossed since the 80s.Perhaps he married a 'Miss World' !!

A variation of the scattergun gambit perhaps?

 

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