fan f*cking tastic mate

[Link]
''careful Penny - we don't know what we're dealing with here''

An Ode To Robbie Williams

Oh Robbie I wish you were loving angels instead,
Of hamming it up on Earth and polluting my head.

Your very kind offer to Take That and Party,
Only ended up with me googling lemonparty.

My urge to do some damage to myself so strong,
That I ended up in the midst of an old, erect throng.

Where I wished you hadn't appeared with your group reformed,
It made me want to make my genitalia deformed.

How on earth can you still be selling records?
You haven't been popular since I had shit decor.

My Laura Ashley wallpaper as unerringly sh*t,
As each and every one of your greatest hits.

So how dare you come back into the limelight,
You flagrantly useless smelly fucking bumshite.

WORRIED that your teeth will be stained after a heavy night drinking red wine? Fear not; drink a bottle of white wine before going to bed, to remove the stains.

That depends on just how much you want it.

Thanks for your kind words.

WORRIED that your teeth will be stained after a heavy night drinking red wine? Fear not; drink a bottle of white wine before going to bed, to remove the stains.

An Ode To Richard Ashcroft

Richard Ashcroft you're a mopped haired plonker,
With a nose that's bigger than a champion conker,
It's length so legendary as long as a fjord,
In Paris once mistaken for the missing Concorde.

Your inability to walk pleasantly down a street,
Without knocking poor grannies right off of their feet,
Is really beginning to make me fucking drab,
Pick on someone your own size you dirty northern scab.

Your Verve is no more your fame short and fleet,
Now your agent suggests you appear on Coronation Street,
To get your filthy great nose back into the spotlight,
It couldn't look worse if you'd been in a prize fight.

So take your mop your attitude your hooter too,
And stick it up your arse like we all want you to,
You'll then truly know how with us it all sits,
We basically think that you stink like shit.

Edited by Mongo Like Clunge (28 Oct 2010 10.28pm)

WORRIED that your teeth will be stained after a heavy night drinking red wine? Fear not; drink a bottle of white wine before going to bed, to remove the stains.

bump

An Ode To Elton John

When God decided to Furnish you with a p*nis,
I'm sure what he had in mind was slightly less heinous,
Than the concept of you receiving yours from David,
Didn't he rule all this out with the commandments he pav-ed?

Nevertheless you continue and God's law contravene,
Sticking your love wands where the sunshine's not seen,
Unless you put your gynaecologist's getup on,
And speculum David's ars*hole to resemble the flag of Nippon.

The other day I saw you on the cover of 'U Magazine',
Standing in the checkout line I found it quite obscene,
Two men and a baby whoa that's not Jesus' true diction,
So it's a good job He's just a big work of fiction.

Edited by Mongo Like Clunge (20 Jan 2011 4.15pm)

WORRIED that your teeth will be stained after a heavy night drinking red wine? Fear not; drink a bottle of white wine before going to bed, to remove the stains.