I could do that.
But I don't wanna.

I know you are but what am I?

He is a vigin in that photo.

But he aint no more

Edited by A_JsShorts (06 Aug 2009 2:47pm)

Just remembered another.

A girl I was working with when I was about 16, in a clothing store down in Eastbourne while I was in College, she was really quite attractive and had her own place not so far from the store - she was older, around 20/21. My virginity was still in tact at this point, I might add.

Anyway, she invites me over for a few drinks with her friends at her place and asks me what I like to drink... I said vodka, so she says she'll get some in. Superb. She also invites me to stay over so I don't have to see my parents while drunk.

So I go over - I was a very shy young man and we all have a few drinks and it's getting late. I was pretty hammered but still compus mentus and all of her friends decide to go home. So we're chatting and she decides it's time to go to bed, so she shows me around and says 'this is my bedroom - just so you know'. Takes me back downstairs and we sort out my sofa-bed etc.

She then turns round and kisses me straight on the lips and says seductively 'you know where I am if you need me'.

Me: 'Good night then'.

Edited by Jim'll Fist It For U (07 Aug 2009 4:47pm)

Attachment: MassFacepalm.jpg (845.30Kb)

Moving swiftly on...

One final one, although i'm sure you'll understand why I didn't go through with it.

I got married at 18/19 to my now ex-wife and had been married for a bit when I got my first job in London. I moved departments after a few years into the new media section of a recruitment company and was a touch naive but very hard working.

Everyone would go out on a Friday night and have a drink together, and there was an indian girl who sat next to me, a bit of a mentalist, but very funny, brought up in Glasgae (yer wee bawbag), who always wanted to talk to me at these work nights out. She was very pretty and about 5 foot nothing, jet black hair and about 7 stone.

So anyway, she spends most of the night talking about this great pub in Balham, which was on one of my stops on the way home and convinces me to stop for a pint there before heading home.

So anyway, we get into this pub, one drink turns into two and she starts talking to me about sex and turn ons etc. and she slips off her shoe and starts to rub her feet against my thighs and telling me that she's always wondered what it would be like to fuck me.

Now, anyone that knows me, knows that this kind of thing would not exactly be a regular occurence for someone of my ilk, so don't think i'm boasting here. It continues and i'm trying to reduce the scale of both the situation and my penis; and she turns to me and says,

Her: You see that flat over there *points across the road* that's my place. Let's go back there and you can fuck me as hard as you like.

Me: Erm. I can't.

Her: Why not, I won't tell anyone. (She said something along the lines of our dirty secret or something to that effect).

Me: I've got to go home.

Her: Are you gay or something?

Me: I'll see you in the morning. *Leaves with obvious erection*.

I got divorced a year later.

Edited by Jim'll Fist It For U (11 Aug 2009 3:45am)

Attachment: facepalmsuit2.gif (851.52Kb)

Moving swiftly on...

Thoroughly deserved James old thing!

I know you are but what am I?