Who was the first composer to catch Corona virus?

Drycoughski

“My experience of life is that it is not divided up into genres; it’s a horrifying, romantic, tragic, comical, science-fiction cowboy detective novel. You know, with a bit of pornography if you’re lucky."

Earlier today I told the missus that I was bored being stuck in the house all day because of the lockdown.
She said "Why don't you make a bird table?"
So I did. Now she's angry because I only put her in 5th place.

A man goes into a pub with an alligator under his arm. "Do you serve Brighton fans here?" he asks. "Certainly sir, no problem at all," replies the barman, nervously staring at the alligator.
"OK," says the man, "A pint of lager for me and a Brighton fan for the alligator."

Me and the missus are in the iron and steel business. She does the ironing, I do the stealing.

The inventor of the sexual innuendo has sadly passed away today

His wife is taking it really hard.

I went to the doctors recently

He said: “Don’t eat anything fatty”

I said: “What, like bacon and burgers?”

He said, “No. fatty don’t eat anything.”