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April 25 2024 6.19am

I say,I say,I say......crap joke thread #2

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View mooro's Profile mooro Flag Within the Temples of Syrinx 13 Dec 22 2.19pm Send a Private Message to mooro Add mooro as a friend

I remember as a nipper mucking about rolling down hills in an old car tyre.
They were Good Years.......................

 


There's no sun, the shadow of the wizard.......

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View mezzer's Profile mezzer Flag Main Stand, Block F, Row 20 seat 1... 13 Dec 22 5.06pm Send a Private Message to mezzer Add mezzer as a friend

Actors have got Equity.

Magicians have got The Magic Circle.

Ventriloquists have no one to speak for them.

 


Living down here does have some advantages. At least you can see them cry.

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View mooro's Profile mooro Flag Within the Temples of Syrinx 17 Dec 22 11.47am Send a Private Message to mooro Add mooro as a friend

I remember covering my sick granddad's back in butter to see if it would help.
Sadly he went rapidly downhill after that !

 


There's no sun, the shadow of the wizard.......

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View Spiderman's Profile Spiderman Flag Horsham 17 Dec 22 12.00pm Send a Private Message to Spiderman Add Spiderman as a friend

My p**is got into the Guinness Book of Records.
Then the Librarian insisted I remove it

Edited by Spiderman (17 Dec 2022 12.00pm)

 

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View Nicholas91's Profile Nicholas91 Flag The Democratic Republic of Kent 17 Dec 22 12.24pm Send a Private Message to Nicholas91 Add Nicholas91 as a friend

Originally posted by mezzer

Actors have got Equity.

Magicians have got The Magic Circle.

Ventriloquists have no one to speak for them.

Years ago I used to work as a mime… it’s only now I can talk about it.

 


Now Zaha's got a bit of green grass ahead of him here... and finds Ambrose... not a bad effort!!!!

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View HeathMan's Profile HeathMan Flag Purley 29 Dec 22 8.48pm Send a Private Message to HeathMan Holmesdale Online Elite Member Add HeathMan as a friend

One evening an old farmer decided to go down to the pond, as he hadn't been there for a while.

He grabbed a five-gallon bucket to bring back some fruit.

As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee. As he came closer, he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny dipping in his pond. He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end.

One of the women shouted to him, "We're not coming out until you leave!"

The old man frowned, "I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim naked or make you get out of the pond naked:' Holding the bucket up he said, "I'm here to feed the alligator!'

 

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View mezzer's Profile mezzer Flag Main Stand, Block F, Row 20 seat 1... 30 Dec 22 9.29am Send a Private Message to mezzer Add mezzer as a friend

Originally posted by Nicholas91

Years ago I used to work as a mime… it’s only now I can talk about it.

I was in a mime group once but I got chucked out. Must have been something I said.

 


Living down here does have some advantages. At least you can see them cry.

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View BudgiesBeak's Profile BudgiesBeak Flag London 07 Jan 23 4.03pm Send a Private Message to BudgiesBeak Add BudgiesBeak as a friend

I see that David Beckham's son has signed for Brentford. When they allocated his shirt number the manager said "Wear four out there, Romeo".

 

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View Nicholas91's Profile Nicholas91 Flag The Democratic Republic of Kent 07 Jan 23 4.50pm Send a Private Message to Nicholas91 Add Nicholas91 as a friend

Originally posted by BudgiesBeak

I see that David Beckham's son has signed for Brentford. When they allocated his shirt number the manager said "Wear four out there, Romeo".

That's very good, I am nicking it for private interactions

 


Now Zaha's got a bit of green grass ahead of him here... and finds Ambrose... not a bad effort!!!!

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MrWhyNot Flag 07 Jan 23 7.52pm

Originally posted by BudgiesBeak

I see that David Beckham's son has signed for Brentford. When they allocated his shirt number the manager said "Wear four out there, Romeo".

lol..

 

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MrWhyNot Flag 07 Jan 23 7.54pm

I asked my wife why she doesn't tell me when she's about to orgasm, she said "I don't like ringing you while you're at work"

 

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MrWhyNot Flag 07 Jan 23 7.55pm


As I handed my Dad his 80th birthday card, he looked at me with tears in his eyes and said,

“You know, one would have been enough.”

 

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