You are here: Home > Message Board > General Talk > I say,I say,I say......crap joke thread #2
March 29 2024 3.27pm

I say,I say,I say......crap joke thread #2

Previous Topic | Next Topic


Page 50 of 52 < 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 >

 

Yellow Card - User has been warned of conduct on the messageboards View Wisbech Eagle's Profile Wisbech Eagle Flag Truro Cornwall 12 Jan 23 4.27pm Send a Private Message to Wisbech Eagle Add Wisbech Eagle as a friend

A national newspaper ran a contest in which their readers had to vote for places they regarded as being "the best for". Like shopping, entertainment, libraries etc, etc.

Brighton won a category!

It was voted the best place in England to die, because the transition from life to death there is hardly noticeable.

 

Alert Alert a moderator to this post Edit this post Quote this post in a reply
View HeathMan's Profile HeathMan Flag Purley 19 Jan 23 10.45am Send a Private Message to HeathMan Holmesdale Online Elite Member Add HeathMan as a friend

Got a Chinese take out last night and as I got in the car I heard the bag rustle, so looked over and saw a pair of eyes looking out of the top of bag at me, then disappear back inside.

I was so scared I nearly said profanities!

I looked again, saw the eyes looking out at me then disappear again, so grabbed the bag and ran back into the shop. I asked the guy behind the counter “what the heck was going on?!”

he said "you asked for the Peking duck…”

 

Alert Alert a moderator to this post Edit this post Quote this post in a reply
View Zimeagle's Profile Zimeagle Flag Harare 04 Feb 23 11.27am Send a Private Message to Zimeagle Add Zimeagle as a friend


My grandson can't say "please" in Spanish.......
that's poor for 4, innit?

 

Alert Alert a moderator to this post Edit this post Quote this post in a reply
View Zimeagle's Profile Zimeagle Flag Harare 14 Feb 23 10.09am Send a Private Message to Zimeagle Add Zimeagle as a friend

Just bought the wife's Valentine's Day treat.........
A hot air balloon trip across the USA.

 

Alert Alert a moderator to this post Edit this post Quote this post in a reply
View mezzer's Profile mezzer Flag Main Stand, Block F, Row 20 seat 1... 15 Feb 23 1.22pm Send a Private Message to mezzer Add mezzer as a friend

It's unusually cold in Argentina right now.

In fact, it's bordering on Chile.

 


Living down here does have some advantages. At least you can see them cry.

Alert Alert a moderator to this post Edit this post Quote this post in a reply
View Zimeagle's Profile Zimeagle Flag Harare 26 Mar 23 3.58pm Send a Private Message to Zimeagle Add Zimeagle as a friend

Managed to have sex for one hour and five minutes last night. I love it when they put the clocks forward.

 

Alert Alert a moderator to this post Edit this post Quote this post in a reply
View Zimeagle's Profile Zimeagle Flag Harare 08 May 23 2.27pm Send a Private Message to Zimeagle Add Zimeagle as a friend

Just bought some Viagra tea bags

They don't improve your sex life, but they do stop your biscuits going soft.

 

Alert Alert a moderator to this post Edit this post Quote this post in a reply
View monkey's Profile monkey Flag Sittingbourne,Kent 03 Jun 23 9.29am Send a Private Message to monkey Add monkey as a friend

I just said to the wife “my bum hole is really burning and I’ve no idea what it is”? She said “ ring sting “ ! I said how the hell will he know ????

 


Made in Bromley

Alert Alert a moderator to this post Edit this post Quote this post in a reply
View Daddyorc's Profile Daddyorc Flag Atlantic Highlands, NJ 10 Aug 23 10.31pm Send a Private Message to Daddyorc Add Daddyorc as a friend

Did you hear about the scarecrow who won the award?

He was outstanding in the field.

 

Alert Alert a moderator to this post Edit this post Quote this post in a reply
View mr. apollo's Profile mr. apollo Flag Somewhere in Switzerland 22 Aug 23 11.00am Send a Private Message to mr. apollo Add mr. apollo as a friend

I entered the “How not to surrender” competition and I won hands down.

 



Glad

All

Over

Alert Alert a moderator to this post Edit this post Quote this post in a reply
View mr. apollo's Profile mr. apollo Flag Somewhere in Switzerland 22 Aug 23 11.04am Send a Private Message to mr. apollo Add mr. apollo as a friend

Nationwide must have looked pretty silly when they opened their first branch.

 



Glad

All

Over

Alert Alert a moderator to this post Edit this post Quote this post in a reply
View Palace Old Geezer's Profile Palace Old Geezer Flag Midhurst 22 Aug 23 12.14pm Send a Private Message to Palace Old Geezer Add Palace Old Geezer as a friend

Voted the top one-liner at this year's Edinburgh Fringe:

"I started dating a zookeeper, but it turned out he was a cheetah".

 


Dad and I watched games standing on the muddy slope of the Holmesdale Road end. He cheered and I rattled.

Alert Alert a moderator to this post Edit this post Quote this post in a reply

 

Page 50 of 52 < 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 >

Previous Topic | Next Topic

You are here: Home > Message Board > General Talk > I say,I say,I say......crap joke thread #2