Questions have been asked about why the water in the diving pool in Rio has turned an unpleasant murky shade of green when it should be a pleasing shade of blue.

Now, I seem to recall hearing that if you urinate in a public swimming pool it interacts with the chemicals in the water and changes its colour.

So, any diver going to hold their hand up?

I was told this as a kid and believed it for around 30 years before being told that it was something that parents say to stop their kids pissing in the pool. I now make a point of getting my kids eating asparagus and beetroot before going swimming.

It's 106 miles to Chicago, we got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark... and we're wearing sunglasses.

Berocca multi-vitamin tablets are also useful for identifying "leakage" in a pool.

I did think it might be a Russian diver having a surreptitious wee and then discovering all those horrible drugs he'd been taking changed the water colour.

They just haven't used enough chemicals to treat the water, as they've never used it for this many consecutive days before. That's why it was okay to start with.

They reckon it'll go back to blue in the next couple of days, now that they're using the required amounts of treatment.

Optimistic as ever

Hope Tom Daley hasn't jumped into the green pool. If he is with his boyfriend in a few months time and he won't give him a BJ Tom may turn round and say, "don't make me angry, you wouldn't like me when I'm angry' and split his Speedo's.

'Lies to the masses as are like fly's to mollasses...they want more and more and more'

Probably explains why his eyes are so big.