Set your goals higher mate, my work history is no secret on here, I've worked sh*t jobs for large companies. When I was looking for new work I went for the blag approach of pretending I could use computer packages I really don't know anything about, a few companies rumbled me but I got a job working for a small firm, very well paid for what I do and one of the lads spent time helping me 'refresh' my knowledge of Excel.

Put your CV on CV Library and your phone won't stop ringing with people looking to employ you.

Always oversell yourself. If you think you can do the job, sell yourself. Chances are you'll spend some time learning how to do the job the way they want you to do it. I've always surprised myself at how quickly I can pick up something entirely new.

I never worry about getting a job I can't do. I'll get paid up until they let me go. So far I've made a good job out of everything I've blagged my way into.

Don't think so much of what you can do for them, think about what they can do for you. That's how the game really works.

"One Nation Under God, has turned into One Nation Under the Influence of One Drug"
[Link]

Yes I did practical work with my plumbing course I paid out £8000 for the one year course back in 2007, but companies don't see it as a proper qualification as its not a in house 3 year course with a plumbing company Yet its the same course but done in a year sat though 13 exams and loads of practical work that all had to be signed off on completion

Put down the practical work as experience and focus on that. Alternatively, find a few firms that have gone 'belly up' and put them down as experience to pad it out maybe - or put down some volunteer work (Homeless shelters etc probably work well - they never keep track of people who've done a bit of work for them and it sounds good).

Sad thing they never tell people about anything is that experience counts for more than qualification. I barely ever hit the qualification standards of interviews. There are professional qualifications I could obtain, but I've only ever once been asked about why I didn't have any, and they still offered me the job.

"One Nation Under God, has turned into One Nation Under the Influence of One Drug"
[Link]

You are wrong totally
I had a van with sign writing, I had business cards done by vista print, I posted 1000s of leaflet's though doors

I don't get the new shopper we get a three page s*** paper though the door that no one advertises in

Do you know abbey wood area its full of Africans that want things free and most of the Africans houses in Thamesmead are full of cockroaches I know I have worked in them.

I have also worked for Lakehouse and Apollo group and Croydon council fitting bathrooms for the councils now you cant get any of that work as they give the work to the refugees

Have you been to Old Kent road walk into B&Q and you will see all the refugees in the car park begging for work
So don't tell me I am talking s***

Target different area's mate.
Best ones are younger generation moving into 'up & coming' as the saying goes.
Croydon is not bad.
Fairly good around Sydenham/forest hill/crystal palace triangle.
Worth a punt with business cards in shops.
Personally I've never found leaflets any use unless you just hit the road you are working in.
Yell.com, I've always got my money spent back plus.
If you've still got the van, window cleaning is a stop gap as a lot of people drop their rounds when they get something more substantial.
My mate & I window cleaned around sth.croydon for 2 years in the 80s when we had no work. picked up a lot of small jobs once we were trusted in the area, from that I've gone on to run a small decorating contractors for past 30 odd years.
Its like banging you head against the wall getting things going but persist.
best O luck.

Kids,tired of being bothered by your pesky parents?
Then leave home, get a job & pay your own bills, while you still know everything.