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Badly Written Erotica

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View Part Time James's Profile Part Time James Flag 30 Nov 16 9.14am Send a Private Message to Part Time James Add Part Time James as a friend

Between you two you have almost written erotic fiction that's more readable than 50 Shades of Grey. Well done.

 




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View Michaelawt85's Profile Michaelawt85 Flag Bexley 30 Nov 16 9.27am Send a Private Message to Michaelawt85 Add Michaelawt85 as a friend

Originally posted by Part Time James

Between you two you have almost written erotic fiction that's more readable than 50 Shades of Grey. Well done.

I didn't get 2 a*s in English at GCSE and an A in English lit at A level for nothing James. X

 


When I was a young girl my Mother said to me.. You listen here kid you're CPFC

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View Part Time James's Profile Part Time James Flag 30 Nov 16 9.31am Send a Private Message to Part Time James Add Part Time James as a friend

Originally posted by Michaelawt85

I didn't get 2 a*s in English at GCSE and an A in English lit at A level for nothing James. X

The closest we got to erotica in our English Literature GCSE was Tess of the D'Urbervilles. I mean, who can really get a bonkon over a man feeding an underage girl strawberries? Not even a teenage boy. Possibly a few chaps on this forum though....

 




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Hoof Hearted 30 Nov 16 9.42am

Originally posted by Part Time James

"Mrs Goggins", Postman Pat began, but before he could spit out his words of surprise she had stuffed his cartoon mouth with her crispy worn undergarments.
"Now post me your letters you creepy cat loving postal worker". Pat found his lengthy member betraying his sense of fear by engorging rapidly and unzipping his fly for him without assistance. As he inserted his bulbous glans into her elderly crease there was a popping sound rather like a champagne cork being ejaculated into an empty cathedral. Who knew Mrs Goggins was such a deviant? She rode Pat so hard his glasses fogged up and his hat fell from his head. Jess the cat was mooching outside the post office but sensed that Pat was in distress and carried on busily eating grass to make the noises go away. Goggins wiped a bead of sweat from her nose as she felt consumed by the sensation in her swollen clitoris. She came hard, falling back away from his tumescence. They both launched their fluids together much like a fountain of glue and fruit juice, Pat's tallywhacker vibrating as it showered the room with hot sticky product. Some of the villagers subsequently complained that their parcels arrived a day late and decided it might be an idea to use a different service such as UK Mail or TNT to distribute their mail in future.

Good story James, but I can't help but think it would have been better as a threesome with Bob the Builder and Postman Pat spitroasting Mrs Goggins?

 

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Hoof Hearted 30 Nov 16 9.44am

Originally posted by Michaelawt85

She gave Fat sam a knowing wink and beconed him inside . Pushing him to the sofa with some urgency she began to undo his belt slipping her hand inside his boxer shorts.
'Christ' she exclaimed looking startled. 'Is that it?'

Closer examination revealed him to bear resemblence to a button mushroom. Such was the size of him it conjured images of jabba the hut crossed with a bull dog. He wasn't going to satisfy her physically or emotionally.

Then she remembered Alan in the basement. There was something exciting about having a living legend trapped in her cellar.

Super Al , Super Al. She began to moan as she Creeped down the cellar stairs. She was getting wetter with every step she took towards him and drank in his intoxicating aroma of success, power, lynx Africa and Emek kebab. This was going to be messy she thought as she straddled him.

'Oh Super Al, you sexy silver Fox. I will f*** you senseless.. You just lay back and think of England.'

Oh I am Alice, I already am

I can just imagine Fat Sam's cum face..... pig ugly as normal!

 

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View Michaelawt85's Profile Michaelawt85 Flag Bexley 30 Nov 16 9.45am Send a Private Message to Michaelawt85 Add Michaelawt85 as a friend

Originally posted by Part Time James

The closest we got to erotica in our English Literature GCSE was Tess of the D'Urbervilles. I mean, who can really get a bonkon over a man feeding an underage girl strawberries? Not even a teenage boy. Possibly a few chaps on this forum though....

It's all about your imagination James. At least it wasn't lolita you were reading. Our a level text was Hamlet.. oedipus complex here there and everywhere !

 


When I was a young girl my Mother said to me.. You listen here kid you're CPFC

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View Part Time James's Profile Part Time James Flag 30 Nov 16 9.53am Send a Private Message to Part Time James Add Part Time James as a friend

Originally posted by Hoof Hearted

Good story James, but I can't help but think it would have been better as a threesome with Bob the Builder and Postman Pat spitroasting Mrs Goggins?

Seems a bit disrespectful to the genre.

 




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Hoof Hearted 30 Nov 16 9.54am

Originally posted by Part Time James

Between you two you have almost written erotic fiction that's more readable than 50 Shades of Grey. Well done.

THere's more....

Once again the doorbell rang as Alice was about to climax.

"Who the fcuk is that now? she exclaimed, and shuffled to the door with her HOL themed knickers draped round one ankle....

"Hello love... any chance of a sly shag?"

Alice recognised that huge nose, false teeth and gormless smile.... "Colin.... I mean Neil, I thought you were just a w*nker?"

"Oh no love, I can score in a brothel and hit a cow's arse with my banjo!"

"You smooth talking barsteward Neil, come in and join in the fun!" said Alice.....

 

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View Part Time James's Profile Part Time James Flag 30 Nov 16 9.55am Send a Private Message to Part Time James Add Part Time James as a friend

Originally posted by Michaelawt85

It's all about your imagination James. At least it wasn't lolita you were reading. Our a level text was Hamlet.. oedipus complex here there and everywhere !

Well I was imagining my teacher in her bra. A lot better than Tess Durbeyfield.

 




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View Part Time James's Profile Part Time James Flag 30 Nov 16 9.56am Send a Private Message to Part Time James Add Part Time James as a friend

Well that's not the first time you have enticed my appendage from his winter slumber.

 




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View Michaelawt85's Profile Michaelawt85 Flag Bexley 30 Nov 16 10.05am Send a Private Message to Michaelawt85 Add Michaelawt85 as a friend

Originally posted by Hoof Hearted

THere's more....

Once again the doorbell rang as Alice was about to climax.

"Who the fcuk is that now? she exclaimed, and shuffled to the door with her HOL themed knickers draped round one ankle....

"Hello love... any chance of a sly shag?"

Alice recognised that huge nose, false teeth and gormless smile.... "Colin.... I mean Neil, I thought you were just a w*nker?"

"Oh no love, I can score in a brothel and hit a cow's arse with my banjo!"

"You smooth talking barsteward Neil, come in and join in the fun!" said Alice.....

You are funny hoof x

 


When I was a young girl my Mother said to me.. You listen here kid you're CPFC

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Hoof Hearted 30 Nov 16 10.12am

Originally posted by Michaelawt85

You are funny hoof x

Never mind that.... where's the next instalment?

We're working well as a team (unlike Palace!)

 

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