Oo, it was rather fortuitous that I stumbled upon this post. I hate to be pedantic but I have always preferred Kate Middleton to Pippa.

I did one about 3 years ago which was to buy fish from a fish & chip shop as I hadn't for quite some years, only bought chips.

I made sure I didn't break this by buying fish in the February!

A dodgy way of doing a resolution.

I don't think I've bought fish from a fish & chip shop since so may make it again.

To see more Palace games - Thanks to TV and Sundays I've made it to four home games this season. Sure, I know, I could go on TV days, but then I remember that its an hour and a half travel, and I've already paid for Sky and BT on the virgin package.

Also, do some acid or shrooms. Clear out the old third eye. Its been nearly a year and a half.

I have a resolution to care a little bit less about my performance at work. We have 5 different bands of performance ratings at work and because they follow such a weighted bell curve, unless you burn the office down or, on the flip side, make the company 50 billion pounds in one evening of overtime, you'll be in the middle bracket. I worked my socks off in 2016 to go 'above and beyond' (office speak for doing a lot of extra butt kissing for little to no reward) and although my rating hasn't been confirmed, my end of year comments from my boss would imply I am still going to be in the middle bracket. That same middle bracket that two of my peers are going to be in and they are dribbling idiots. In 2017 I intend to stress a little less about trying to get a higher rating. If I am heading for the lower rating then of course I'll do what I need to pull myself up a bit, but otherwise I'm doing to just do what needs to be done to survive and nothing more.

Permit me to recommend that you have two espressos an hour and indulge in heavy usage of Turkish amphetamines, administered directly into the eye via pipettes, plus you may wish to top this up with the consumption of steroids.

After a few days of eliminating the needless & time wasting activity of sleep, you will enter a productive and blissful state where the world will become your oyster. Targets will be hit, enemies slayed and the profits will roll in.

Keep this up for a few years, you will be CEO.

There is a slight chance you my end up in prison on ABH or manslaughter charges but you should view this as a minor inconvenience in the overall grander plan of things.

Edited by matt_himself (30 Dec 2016 11.08am)