people over-analyse tattoos. Just accept that some people like them and don't really care too much whether they're original or appeal to others. I got a load in my late teens and early 20s mainly because I had time, money and lived close to a tattoo shop. They're certainly not works of art or anything deep and meaningful but was what I was into at the time. They're not what I'd get a tattoo of today but you accept that when you get them, I certainly don't regret them.

I only ever get cheap flash tattoos from the window of tattoo parlours. I like latin writing and tribal stuff mainly. Not because I think it makes me seem enigmatic, but because I love calligraphy and filigree.

That said, since I got them done I have felt more manly. I can talk to plumbers on their terms now and I find more van drivers are asking my assistance in reversing into tight parking spaces.

Being born in the 1950s I do still struggle a bit to come to terms with the proliferation of tattoos. When I was growing up the only people who had tattoos were sailors, navvies and fairground workers (you know, the guys with a quiff who used to swing round on The Waltzer when it was moving and take your fare).

In the same way I am still coming to terms with people holidaying in Vietnam and Cambodia - I mean isn't that risky with all those bombs and napalm?

Whilst we are on the subject of tattoos, I do like the Who song Tattoo off The Who Sell Out album.

I wish. I have been trying to lure a floppy lush with no bladder control for ages.