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Here’s a tricky one....

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.TUX. Flag 26 May 18 1.38am

I'm glad he's chosen to help.
If his friends do let him down then so be it, it'll be the last time they do.
I hope the day goes well.

RIP.

 


Buy Litecoin.

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View becky's Profile becky Flag over the moon 26 May 18 6.59am Send a Private Message to becky Holmesdale Online Elite Member Add becky as a friend

Originally posted by 7mins

Thanks for all the replies.

My friend thinks their plan was always to ask him for the money.

He doesn’t understand how they can’t put even a small % towards it. He told me he is going to lend them the money... as he’s a good guy.. he said he’d feel terrible if he didn’t... but accepts there’s a chance they’re taking advantage of his good nature.
He hopes they’ll repay him... but doubts they will.

...... and then, in a few months there will be the headstone to be bought.......

 


A stairway to Heaven and a Highway to Hell give some indication of expected traffic numbers

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View cryrst's Profile cryrst Flag The garden of England 26 May 18 7.45am Send a Private Message to cryrst Add cryrst as a friend

Originally posted by 7mins

Thanks for all the replies.

My friend thinks their plan was always to ask him for the money.

He doesn’t understand how they can’t put even a small % towards it. He told me he is going to lend them the money... as he’s a good guy.. he said he’d feel terrible if he didn’t... but accepts there’s a chance they’re taking advantage of his good nature.
He hopes they’ll repay him... but doubts they will.

Touche
Red highlights on my assumption.
If it was a one off then yes anyone would lend it if they could
They have form remember.

 

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View Casual's Profile Casual Flag Orpington 26 May 18 10.07am Send a Private Message to Casual Add Casual as a friend

If they’d had a break in England or a long weekend in Spain , instead of going to the West Indies , they’d have had some restbite and the money for the funeral.

 

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View Midlands Eagle's Profile Midlands Eagle Flag 26 May 18 11.01am Send a Private Message to Midlands Eagle Add Midlands Eagle as a friend

Originally posted by 7mins

My friend thinks their plan was always to ask him for the money.

He doesn’t understand how they can’t put even a small % towards it. He told me he is going to lend them the money... as he’s a good guy.. he said he’d feel terrible if he didn’t... but accepts there’s a chance they’re taking advantage of his good nature.
He hopes they’ll repay him... but doubts they will.

He sounds like a thoroughly decent human being and I do wonder what I would have done given the same situation

 

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View Palace 1979's Profile Palace 1979 Flag Surrey 26 May 18 4.17pm Send a Private Message to Palace 1979 Add Palace 1979 as a friend

Originally posted by .TUX.

I'm glad he's chosen to help.
If his friends do let him down then so be it, it'll be the last time they do.
I hope the day goes well.

RIP.

Agreed. He can sleep easy knowing he has done the right thing.

I hope things work out and they pay him back. Maybe now that they won't have the ongoing care to pay for they will be able to afford to do this, although it may take some time..

Personally, I would give them time to repay to give them a chance to grieve and get themselves back up and running.

 


Some people are like Slinkies … not really good for anything, but you can’t help smiling when you see one tumble down the stairs.

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Pussay Patrol Flag 28 May 18 7.34am

Originally posted by Casual

If they’d had a break in England or a long weekend in Spain , instead of going to the West Indies , they’d have had some restbite and the money for the funeral.

Maybe they are from there and went to see family?

 


Paua oouaarancì Irà chiyeah Ishé galé ma ba oo ah

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View 7mins's Profile 7mins Flag In the bush 01 Jun 18 10.25pm Send a Private Message to 7mins Add 7mins as a friend

Originally posted by Pussay Patrol

Maybe they are from there and went to see family?

Yes. They stayed with family.

 

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View Forest Hillbilly's Profile Forest Hillbilly Flag in a hidey-hole 01 Jun 18 11.19pm Send a Private Message to Forest Hillbilly Add Forest Hillbilly as a friend

Originally posted by becky

...... and then, in a few months there will be the headstone to be bought.......

The old 'Rule-of-thumb', was never lend/gamble more then you can afford to lose.
I was burned once, lending £50 to a work colleague in the 1980's. He left soon after. Apparently he got loans from almost the entire staff, before he disappeared.
It wasn't a life-changing amount, but about a days wages back then. this has made me sceptical of lending anyone money.

The situation of asking for your mate to lend money, doesn't sit right with me.
But then I don't know the people involved, or the depth of their friendship.

I would engineer a tactical swerve/damage limitation into the scenario. It's a difficult equation to balance friendship / money /ethics / morals

I'd be interested to know how it works out. If there is a gift /loan and if it is repaid. Also holiday movements of the party asking for money (Facebook /social media is good for spying)

Edited by Forest Hillbilly (01 Jun 2018 11.20pm)

 


"The facts have changed", Rishi Sunak

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View Pikester's Profile Pikester Flag Worthing 02 Jun 18 8.32am Send a Private Message to Pikester Add Pikester as a friend

Originally posted by Forest Hillbilly

The old 'Rule-of-thumb', was never lend/gamble more then you can afford to lose.
I was burned once, lending £50 to a work colleague in the 1980's. He left soon after. Apparently he got loans from almost the entire staff, before he disappeared.
It wasn't a life-changing amount, but about a days wages back then. this has made me sceptical of lending anyone money.

Wasn't it you who lent Kenny Lunt £15?!

Have you got a grand I could borrow until pay day mate?

 


You fed me, you bred me, I'll remember your name.

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View Forest Hillbilly's Profile Forest Hillbilly Flag in a hidey-hole 02 Jun 18 9.07am Send a Private Message to Forest Hillbilly Add Forest Hillbilly as a friend

Originally posted by Pikester

Wasn't it you who lent Kenny Lunt £15?!

Have you got a grand I could borrow until pay day mate?

And there-in lies the rub.
A dispute over a small amount of money, led to lies, abusive texts and me taking a moral stance.
She told me a relative had a short-notice appointment with a Consultant,....on a Saturday. And that also meant she couldn't phone/text me to let me know

I took a moral hard-line stance, which your friend seems adept at avoiding (as he has done so before)

It's probably people's different experiences that form their judgements on what your friend should do.

I think dead is dead. I have little inclination for funerals, though I have organised one or two, and on a tight budget. The money being asked for would have been better spent on the daughter when she was alive,...but that's me.

It also seems the friendship seems based on financial need of one, and of generosity of the other.
My mother has a 'parasite' of a friend, who lets my mum pay for everything, but always has an excuse for letting my mum down. I have tried drawing my mum's attention to this,...and she kind of gets it,..but is happy for the situation to continue.
What can you do ?

Edited by Forest Hillbilly (02 Jun 2018 9.08am)

 


"The facts have changed", Rishi Sunak

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View 7mins's Profile 7mins Flag In the bush 04 Jun 18 8.10am Send a Private Message to 7mins Add 7mins as a friend

Update:
He payed for the whole thing. £3700.

They said they will pay him back.

What my friend can’t understand/is a little bit miffed about. They didn’t put one pound of their own money towards a funeral that they knew was gonna happen for years.

 

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