MASSIVE error. Just huge. Blow the moralising (I don't mind it personally but then I'm long overdue another Glasgow welcome, as we all agree (about which, more later, y'lucky pup...), it's really irrelevent.

The comedy at its best is just tremendous and however it chooses to get there, just let it choose - it really isn't important. It's a comedy programme, not a Party Political Broadcast (however it might feel). Just look the other way when you need to because when it's funny - and it's really REALLY funny for a few series beyond 2 - it makes the rest irrelevent. Trust me on this. You won't regret it.

Glasgow kiss. (This hasn't rankled, honest, Guv. This much is abundently clear...) It probably doesn't shock you to learn you're not entirely unique in that opinion. (Hope your ego can withstand such a mortal blow.) Fortunately, it doesn't matter a jot as I'm safe in the certain knowledge you're all wrong. So nerr. Plus I have an extraordinarily high pain tolerance so you'd be much better advised to piss in my pint while I'm not watching.

Now get on with showing the rest of your peep.

They just MIGHT be too diffuse, that's all I'm saying. I AM James Bond. It's like a moral decision. Except it's not, because nobody's watching. Y'piss kidney.

De Botton wouldn't kill.

(Just realised you probably CAN'T survive a mortal blow. Clue's in the description. Oh well.)

If this whole virusy business achieves nothing more than offering you the opportunity to get yourself up-to-PS-speed then it might, just might, have all been worth it after all. Sometimes yer silver lining needs seeking.

Edited by Eustace H. Plimsoll (27 Mar 2020 12.31am)

As a woman, I can step aside, or step up my game...

It can be if you order it, y'saucy devil.

As a woman, I can step aside, or step up my game...

I'm out of my depth here, clearly. I would love to toe-to-toe PS quotes however clearly you are the undisputed champion so I really ought not to (and I can't anyhow, without YouTube). Plus my beer tastes funny - who was watching that?

If it helps though, that really made me laugh. Out loud too. I would 'LOL' but I'm not 14. Kudos though, no question.

People who trade comedy quotes are insufferable tits, aren't they? Don't care, you've got it going on Teddy and the rest can go hang - it's you and me baby.

Do me some Zapp Brannigan and I shall snog your face off right here.

Edited by Eustace H. Plimsoll (27 Mar 2020 12.36am)

As a woman, I can step aside, or step up my game...

Not in my purview they don't.

I probably ought to have a broader approach but I could never completely trust that sort. Could DEFINITELY not love someone like that. I'll take on board the notion that it's crowd-pleasing and good, simple fun (I mean, that's hopelessly wrong, naturally, but I'll entertain the argument, right up until I puke up my pissy beer), but don't expect me to give up my last fag if you expect to regale me with MBB's finest offerings while you enjoy it.

I was going to offer up a General Talk topic on this matter actually...

What ludicrously irrelevent thing, in the greater scheme, would be a deal breaker for your love? (Or best friend. Whatever.) The most amazing looking, clever, funny, interesting, sweet, saucy person comes up to you because she's bizzarely uncontrollably drawn to grotty gobby types who get on most people's tits half the time (that's me, not you, obviously, but we're role-playing here) and you're absolutely nailed-on except - BANG! - it's all off. Her fault: she puts the loo-roll on with the hangy bit inwards. Unforgivable.

Or whatever. Not that, obviously, but you get the idea. MBB would definitely be a consideration, if not a deal-breaker, perhaps.

As a woman, I can step aside, or step up my game...

You're going to get a LOT of agreement with this, I expect.

(Except from WE. Obviously. Because that's his thing. A bit. And I shall back him up. Because he is short of a bit of backing and cops for more than his due, whatever is his due. I say. Not that he requests nor needs my backing. But he's got it anyhow. And he's alright I reckon. Past all the squabbling. Anyway, let's not turn this into ANOTHER Willow thread.)

You've definitely been with someone though - in your pomp - when you've initially considered you've done rather well for yourself only then to have been interrupted briefly by your ears and suddenly thought, "Crikey, this'll be a stretch..."?

No? NO? Never? (I'm sure your ears were already being firmly squeezed by then, right? Know what I mean, lads?!)

Anyone got any spare soy...?

Bollocks, it's just dawned, I'm Mark and you're Jez, innt? 'Kin hell. I mean Mark's vaguely interesting - up to a point - but you'd rather Jez's fun.

Listen mate, I'm the one who'll be laughing when we come to consider annuities, alright? Where's all your great sex gonna get you then, huh?? (Jackpot!)

Edited by Eustace H. Plimsoll (27 Mar 2020 1.56am)

As a woman, I can step aside, or step up my game...

What are you doing up and around at 3:01am?