I have been reliably informed that there was a rival brand of shiny, non-stick toilet paper called 'Bronco', can anyone regale us with its merits or otherwise re Izal?

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If you really want to go back to basics, when I was a wee lad in the late 50’s I can recall visiting my gran who had an outside toilet and used old newspaper hanging from a nail on the back of the door.

I was in southern Spain a couple of years ago and was washing my hands in a public toilet when an Irish gentleman having a bowel movement discovered there was no toilet paper in the 'Trap' and was using profane language to express his displeasure.
I never gave it any thought as to how he solved his problem but the much derided Izal and Bronco are far better than NO toilet paper at all in such circumstances.

Which brings to mind that wonderful scene in the cinema film of "Till Death Us Do Part" (shown in around 1970). The early part is set in the time of the WW2 Blitz on London. Alf is sitting contentedly on the throne, smoking his pipe and chatting over the party wall to his neighbour when a bomb falls nearby. Once the smoke and dust have cleared, he prepares to clean up, and as he pulls a piece of newspaper from the hook, is delighted to see that it carries a large picture of Hitler.

Interestingly enough one of the first manufacturers of soft toilet paper was FH Lee Paper Converters which was set up by ex England striker Francis Lee after he retired from footie

I am reminded of a poster which read "No job is finished until the paperwork is done".