well the oil rigger spent his time in the day job, drilling a hole into a place where nature never intended it to be.

Eze Peasy at Anfield....

Did she spend most of the evening running around your bedside lamp?

Living down here does have some advantages. At least you can see them cry.

I recall meeting a young lady with blonde locks who was somewhat easy on the eye.
On our first date she arrived with a dark hair-piece which somewhat took me by surprise and she informed me that she had a collection of wigs and had a proclivity to adorn a different one each time she socialised over a drink or two so she never ventured out with the same wig on successive occasions.One night 'Marilyn Munro', the next 'Elizabeth Taylor' etc etc.

I discovered that the young lady was a maverick and completely 'Barking' and suffice to say our relationship was somewhat ephemeral.

As far as I am aware the person was female.
I never did the 'McDonalds' test to confirm that there were NOT two 'Quarter pounders' in the undercarriage department.
Never reached the fondling stage.

Edited by Willo (18 Nov 2020 11.09am)

A couple of my favourites.

I was seeing an absolute stunner of a girl and legit was the best sex of my life.
She lived in Preston and I had something I was doing in Manchester on the Saturday so arranged to meet up at a Hotel in Manchester Friday night & pretty much non stop banging until Check out on Sunday.
Met her outside the train station and headed straight back to the Hotel everything is going great, I'm balls deep and smashing her like a pro, she climbs on top then suddenly stops her face changes & she says im sorry Dan but I dont feel the same anymore climbs off puts her clothes on and left me sat there on the bed now with a borderline inverted p****.
Got up in the Morning and decided to just drive back to Croydon in my T-Reg Fiat Seicento Sporting.

Was seeing a girl from Wirral (proper scouse accent) although she lived in Leeds, She was mad as f***, she used to enjoy getting banged whilst she had a tampon in, it was actually really quite painful for me so when I told her the chaffing was getting too much she had the right hump and kept accusing me of not wanting to smash her.
She would get just as jealous of my male friends as my female ones & added them all on facebook just to keep tabs on any likes I might put on posts.
I had two geckos that she would get jealous of and it was getting to the point where if I left the room to get a drink I was expecting to come back and find two dead geckos as she couldnt deal with the fact they were my pets.
She then started to wear the same clothes as me so after 3 months of Psychotic mood swings, tears, panic attacks, accusations etc I decided to end it.
This is when everything ramped up a level, she would drive down from Leeds and sit outside my house making sure I wasnt bringing anyone else home.
Text messages started accusing me of all sorts from me giving her an std to me mentally & physically abusing her, she then admitted the whole std thing was bollocks and the reason she is the way she is was because her brother used to rape her when she was younger..

I honestly couldnt work out what was and wasnt real but had to block all forms of contact with her in the end as it was too much, great sex though.

Sex Panther 60% of the time it works every time

I suspect Dan’s Semen might have mind bending toxins.
Should get it analysed.

COYP