Might be worth adding that the scouse rats have City the following game - would be nice to see two very dull and predictable losses for them in these two.

I'll have a an ambulance on standby to mitigate any potential health threat from excessive laughing, euphoria, schadenfreude and glee.

Now Zaha's got a bit of green grass ahead of him here... and finds Ambrose... not a bad effort!!!!

I can see the headlines ‘Palace fans wanting Brighton to win spark bleach shortage in south London’

Made in Bromley

This is painful for me, but should a win by Forest on the final day condemn Dirty Leeds to the Championship I will be a Trentside fan on that day.

We should get between 3 and 6 points from Leeds each season. I'm happy for them to stay up.

My preferred method of deciding who I want to go down, is to judge which scenario is funniest.

Of the most realistic candidates, Everton would be funniest. Probably Leicester would be second funniest.

Clearly the Holy Grail of hilarious relegations would be Chelsea, but fortunately for them, they've run out of games to drop much further. I swear, if there was another 5 games left, on top of the 4 remaining, they could be right in it. Chelsea beat Everton on the first game of the season, and that result has kept them up!

If Everton and West Ham go down, I promise to God that I will be in church every Sunday singing 'hallelujah'.

Red and Blue Army!

This would be the ideal.