I'm glad I touched a nerve, it means this discussion is a good one to have. I also apologise for putting it so bluntly, it was merely to shed light on the other side of some of the stories behind these beatings !

Faraway and Jcreedy : I agree it ain't black and white .. in order to make a point without going into details i had to generalise the situation, it was vital to make it black and white! I do understand the difference between someone who is so weak they let men walk all over them and someone who is generally scared due to previous experiences (abused as a child etc..).

A_J shorts : Well first of all thanks for telling me you enjoy most of my posts. I have the same to say as per above in my defence .. I understand it ain't always black and white and i had to make this generalisation to get my point across. Now I understand things are different after having been raped etc.. Mental and physical abuse can be devestating, please believe me when I say i understand that.

But all of you must know some women (or a lot for that matter) let a guy hit them once, the week after twice, then the first serious hit etc... until it has escalated into a serious problem. These women, who f.e. didn't have any experience with it before, just let it come too far. THAT is self-inflicted. If you then want to help them they don't even want it. They're the ones always going back although they know what is gonna happen next. They are the ones messing up their own lives. I've known a few girls like that and when trying to help them it was ME who got into trouble .. go figure !!

I agree it ain't always so black and white, but please believe me if I tell you it could have been prevented by the woman if she would have taken control of things.

Edited by JollyStef (22 Mar 2005 12:38pm)

Edited by JollyStef (22 Mar 2005 12:39pm)

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Exactly, so why not draw the line to start of with ?

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Horsham, just read my follow-up matey

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Something else that's been forgotten is that generally, men are stronger and bigger than women. This greater physical presence is often enough to make women scared enough to be controlled by men, with just the threat of violence enough to keep them from reporting any earlier abuse.

Also, as has been said, a woman with a history of abuse or violence against her may well believe it is her fault. Low self-esteem can cause people to depend on others, even when their partner is abusing or being violent to them.

It can happen the other way round, but the vast majority of these cases are perpetrated by men on women. Domestic violence has been going on since time immemorial, but at least now more people are coming forward and reporting this kind of abuse. Not long ago, "domestics" were ignored by the police, whereas now it is rightly seen as a serious crime and charges can be brought even when the victim is too scared or otherwise reluctant to report the matter.

"You can feel the stadium jumping. The stadium is actually physically moving up and down"
FA Cup MOTD 24/4/16

We had a situation in our family where a female member was beaten up by her now ex husband. It got left down to me to sort him out. However I didn't take him on physically but verbally and it ruined him. One night when he was sat at a bar with his new lady I interuppted their conversation and pointed out to her that her new boyfriend was in fact a wife beater. When she challenged him he couldn't deny it and she just upped and left him there and then.

Obviously I was naturally delighted and it led to him having to leave the area as before too long it all came out in the open and he got barred from several pubs and clubs, thereby ruining his social life and his mates ditching him.

So don't always take these b******s on with your fists, there are other ways around it without getting into trouble yourself. I just hope that any bloke who beats up a lady and goes down for it pays for their wrongdoing and they go through hell.

First Horsham, now you ?? I wonder, is my follow-up message invisible for people to read or something ??

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