A biker was riding along a California beach when suddenly the sky clouded above his head and, in a booming voice, the Lord said, "Because you have tried to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish."

The biker pulled over and said, "Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can ride over anytime I want."

The Lord said, "Your request is materialistic, think of the enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking. The supports required to reach the bottom of the Pacific! The concrete and steel it would take! It will nearly exhaust several natural resources. I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things.

Take a little more time and think of something that would honor and glorify me."

The biker thought about it for a long time. Finally he said, "Lord, I wish that I could understand my wife. I want to know how she feels inside, what she's thinking when she gives me the silent treatment, why she cries, what she means when she says nothing's wrong, and how I can make a woman truly happy."

The Lord replied,

"Do you want two lanes or four on that bridge?"

Touch my coffee and I will slap you so hard even Google won't be able to find you.

Q...What is the difference between the Big Brother House and the stable where Jesus was born ??

A..The stable had wise men in it.

Touch my coffee and I will slap you so hard even Google won't be able to find you.

My wife got stung by a wasp on her forehead, she’s at outpatients now, her face is all swollen and bruised, she almost died.
Luckily I was close enough to hit the wasp with my shovel!

Dating Katie Price is a lot like Jury Service.it usually only lasts about 2 weeks and eventually most people have done it.

Having usual two bird roast for Christmas dinner
stork and puffin for drinks I like a bum and rack
any other suggestions

I’ll have some of what you’ve been drinking, as long as it’s in a well ventilated room