That won't take long:

"Forget everything you know about playing, just get in a bank of four and keep the ball in front on you. We're playing for a 0-0".

Thank you Captain Obvious. Are you Micheal Owen in disguise?

Not sure policy is an accurate reflection of what's going on.

Unless the policy is specifically a last minute mad scramble by under qualified boys' club members to sign absolutely anyone on ridiculous wages after a summer of indecision, derisory offers and overlooking talented players?

That's because we had bundles of pens with a great pen score.
Take half of them away and we'd be playing the clowns this year.
That wont happen next year even with var.

It frustrates me that year after year, seemingly attainable players seem to go elsewhere and we don't get a look in. Clubs like Bournemouth act decisively and 'overpay' and then make a profit on Tyrone Mings because their targets are young and have resale value. Clubs like Watford actually have a scouting network and have heard of players they're not introduced to by agents.

Meanwhile we wait for June after a nice break, sit round a table and discuss what position we need, identify a few names, offer 20% below the market value to 'test the water', a week later offer 15% below the market value, a week later offer 10% below the market value... Then West Ham come in.

I was delighted with all our marquee signings of the past few years, especially Benteke - so I accept I know f*** all. But sometimes seemingly obvious players come and go and for a fraction of the price and I do wonder if we ever took a look at them...

Would not say that is "unfortunate". She is the Queen of Palace having done more for the club (with her pictures and great book "Hy on Palace" than anyone else I know of.