Stilgoe the Chiller is a concern but Englebert will rip his beard off and give him a proper Humperdincking.

They’re also perfectly proportioned for a classic “nut and nuts” assault. Millicent Martin will whip their whispering grasses.

Bringing in the chicks now, are we?

Well here comes Dusty, she’s got some tools hidden in that beehive...

Hmm, I’d forgotten about Dusty’s proclivities- not a good ball receiver but excellent in the box.

I'm sorry but Dusty Springfield is far too high profile and talented for this thread, we're looking for musical interluders in light entertainment who tend to look like local news readers - I give you the Ladybirds from the Benny Hill Show, or those dance groups like The Young Generation, the Bachelors would have made mincemeat of that lot, with or without Lulu.

Well , just pray that Ken ‘Dodd the mod’ doesn’t enter the fray. It will end in Tears.