Bill Bailey has put himself forward for next year. We might as well go with something like that really, at least having a laugh in the process. Aren't we known for our self deprecating humour. We can use our big fat zero to our advantage (the points I mean, not Bill!))

this is what I thought. I never watch the show itself, not my cup of tea, but had a look at the video clips once I read about the coke scandal, which is more my cup of tea. His hands were too far apart, and his face was too far away from the table not to be using a straw or note or whatever to do the line, which he'd need his hands for. Any occasional coke taker would have spotted this. Shame for the band if they're really not into that sort of thing and got tarred with the brush, despite their 'rock n roll will never die' or whatever line it was being somewhat out of sync with their 'we never take drugs' position.

Yes, it's all supposed to be a bit of a laugh, so lets go with it.

Next year. Just drive a big red bus on the stage with a sign, Why spend £350m hosting eurovision, let's spend it on the NHS instead?