Some of my fave palace gallows humour classics are:

To Jimmy Floyd Hasslebank playing for Charlton “you’re just a fat Eddie Murphy”

To that weird Pompey bell ringing hobit guy who started climbing up the Arthur gantry “ what the fkin he’ll is that? Penny for the guy, penny for the guy”…..

When Crouch came down playing for Southampton “ Freak” everytime he touched the ball was quite funny as was clearly getting to him too.

The classic “did you come by minibus” is always an old fave to a poor travelling support with empty seats.

However the two best I’ve ever heard were actually from Celtic singing to Andy Goram (RIP) who had been diagnosed with bi-polar “ two Andy Gorams, there’s only two Andy Gorams”. The other I hate to say was from Brighton responding to “ does your boyfriend know you’re here” with “you’re too ugly to be gay” back at the palace. Quite genius to be fair!

John Lukic was serenaded with “Lukic is a Jaffa “ every time he played for Arsenal and Leeds at Selhurst. I was never really sure, why, I assumed it was due to his problem in the bedroom department.
I seem to remember, he wasn’t very keen on it.

I can remember going to the old Den in the 80's and the Palace fans singing 'Harry the Dog's a poodle' whilst we were all safe in the cage in the corner.

We didn't carry it on outside I recall

We cheered their goals and every pass they made. I'm trying to remember who missed a penalty for us - Thomas or Gray is my feeling. We cheered that too although it was at the other end.

Kevin Miller came back with Barnsley the season after he let 6 in V QPR by jumping over the ball. They only brought about 50 fans if that.

He was a bit of a porker and Palace started singing who ate all your fans, who ate all your fans, Kevin Miller Kevin Miller he ate all your fans,

And when Lee Bowyer came with charlton. He was getting kicked all over the park. Having said a few detrimental things about us in the press.

Someone started singing (to the red flag): There he goes he's up again. The tackles just keep flying in, we'll kick him up into the sky, we'll keep lee bowyer flying high!

Everyone p!ssed themselves and gradually more joined in.

Then he took another clattering and loads sang it. He got the hump so much he gave us the V sign and got booked!!!! I was laughing so hard my face hurt.

We went to liverpool and just before KO they announced over the tannoy 'Attention please attention. The anfield exercise has now begun'. The stewards ran around opening gates. Palace fans started jumping from one leg to the other waving their arms singing calm down calm down.