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I say,I say ,I say.....crap joke thread! (LOCKED)

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Moose Flag In the sewer pipe... 06 Dec 10 1.18pm Send a Private Message to Moose Add Moose as a friend

Waiter, do you have frog's legs?

No, I'm disabled, you c*nt.

 


Goodness is what you do. Not who you pray to.

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PA Flag Bedfordshire 06 Dec 10 8.59pm Send a Private Message to PA Add PA as a friend

I was attacked by a group of mime artists earlier.

They did unspeakable things to me.

 

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MPE Flag Maidstone 07 Dec 10 8.32pm Send a Private Message to MPE Add MPE as a friend

I have got a new after shave, it smells of bread crumbs, the birds love it!

 


Just when I thought that I was out...........they pull me back in

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kent675 Flag Bromley, Kent 08 Dec 10 11.07am Send a Private Message to kent675 Add kent675 as a friend

I've just bought a Jehovah's Witness advent calendar...everytime I open a door, someone tells me to f*** off

 


Four wheels drives the body - Two wheels drives the soul

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Mikeybaby Flag 08 Dec 10 11.12am Send a Private Message to Mikeybaby Add Mikeybaby as a friend

Quote PA at 06 Dec 2010 8.59pm

I was attacked by a group of mime artists earlier.

They did unspeakable things to me.


 

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jelholyoake Flag 10 Dec 10 9.37am

This ice-cold weather is f*ckin hilarious!
Right now, I'm outside the mental hospital watchin the staff trying to free fifty tongues from the windows.

 


When i see him, it's gonna be painful. Skinny little cont.

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Johnny Eagles Flag berlin 10 Dec 10 3.59pm Send a Private Message to Johnny Eagles Add Johnny Eagles as a friend

I saw a Muslim fall into the canal at 5 am this morning.

Being a responsible citizen, I informed the emergency services.

They still haven't responded!

I'm now starting to think I've wasted a stamp.

 


...we must expand...get more pupils...so that the knowledge will spread...

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kent675 Flag Bromley, Kent 21 Dec 10 3.30pm Send a Private Message to kent675 Add kent675 as a friend

I just lost my job as a lifeguard at my local swimming pool.

Apparently tapping the no bombing sign when a family of Muslims walk past, isn't acceptable.

 


Four wheels drives the body - Two wheels drives the soul

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westquay Flag 58 miles from se25 21 Dec 10 4.53pm Send a Private Message to westquay Add westquay as a friend

Went to see Madness last week.
Excellent gig but unfortunately as the drummer hit the cymbal it flew off and hit some poor b****** on the head.
He was taken to hospital with percussion.

 


"Numb,gutted and shocked . Three words that sum up how I feel."
"Passionate,principled, genius. Three words that sum up Joe Strummer"
Martin Scorcese, Film director.

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lanzarote ron Flag East Grinstead 21 Dec 10 9.31pm Send a Private Message to lanzarote ron Add lanzarote ron as a friend

A man was caught masturbating in a newsagents. Apparently it's all over the papers.

 


When you're dead you don't know you're dead.

It is difficult only for the others.

It's the same when you're stupid.

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cb1969 Flag Back in the 'hood 22 Dec 10 9.53am Send a Private Message to cb1969 Add cb1969 as a friend

Quote lanzarote ron at 21 Dec 2010 9.31pm

A man was caught masturbating in a newsagents. Apparently it's all over the papers.


I have to confess Ron, most of your jokes on here crack me up, right up my street humour wise

 

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wollongongeagle Flag wollongong 22 Dec 10 12.08pm Send a Private Message to wollongongeagle Add wollongongeagle as a friend

Eileeen has never had an orgasm, so she and Paddy decide to go to the doctor to find out why.

After much discussion and a number tests, the doctor suggest that she may be over-heating during the act, and it's affecting her stimulation.

Paddy refuses to buy a fan, and decides to ask his mate Seamus to waft a towel over them during sex.

After 20 minutes of wafting - still no orgasm.

Seamus suggests a swap. "I'll shag her and you waft the towel" he says.

Paddy agrees. Soon after, Eileen is screaming in pleasure and she has an amazing climax.

Paddy looks directly into Seamus' contented eyes and says - "And that, my old son, is how you waft a f***ing towel"

 


We are the goon squad and we're going to town. Beep Beep!

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