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rednblue4eva Norwood 31 Jan 11 12.09pm | |
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A new drug has been developed for depressed lesbians, it's called Tricoxagin
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Old Chap Orpington 31 Jan 11 3.42pm | |
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New operation for women wanting a sez change - Strapadictome
Trivial fact - Palace used to win 5-1 at least once a season, maybe next season? |
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palace-bo Bracknell 01 Feb 11 12.00am | |
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suarez and carroll are liverpool aware they have lou and andy up front emile heskey was spotted in newcastle, but reports claim he was aiming at middlesborough
if at first u dont succeed destroy all evidence that u tried danjangles (twitter) follow me COME ON YOU EAGLES |
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Old Chap Orpington 02 Feb 11 9.13am | |
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Paddy had been drinking at his local Dublin pub all day and most of the night. Mick, the bartender says, "You'll not be drinking anymore tonight, Paddy" Paddy replies "OK Mick, I'll be on my way then." Paddy spins around on his stool and steps off. He falls flat on his face. "Shoite" he says and pulls himself up by the stool and dusts himself off. He takes a step towards the door and falls flat on his face. "Shoite, Shoite!" He looks to the doorway and thinks to himself that if he can just get to the door and some fresh air he'll be fine. He crawls on his belly to the door and shimmies up to the door frame. He sticks his head outside and takes a deep breath of fresh air, feels much better and takes a step out onto the sidewalk. He falls flat on his face. "Bi'Jesus... I'm fockin' focked," he says. He can see his house just a few doors down, and crawls to the door and shimmies up the door frame, opens the door and shimmies inside. He takes a look up the stairs and says "No fockin' way". He crawls up the stairs to his bedroom door and says "I can make it to the bed." He takes a step into the room and falls flat on his face. He says "Fock it" and falls into bed.
Trivial fact - Palace used to win 5-1 at least once a season, maybe next season? |
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frazzle 02 Feb 11 9.22am | |
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Su Wong marries Lee Wong. The next year, the Wongs have a new baby. The nurse brings out a lovely, healthy, bouncy, but definitely a Caucasian, WHITE baby boy. 'Congratulations,' says the nurse to the new parents. The puzzled father looks at his new baby boy and says, Sum Ting Wong
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Cannonball High in the Ozarks. 06 Feb 11 1.12pm | |
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Had some people at my door today asking me to be a jehova's witness..I told 'em ,I didnt even know he was on trial..
Touch my coffee and I will slap you so hard even Google won't be able to find you. |
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Icepick Tony Chester 06 Feb 11 1.53pm | |
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The Magic p**** The Husband said, 'The what'? A police officer saw this and immediately pulled her over. He asked her for her license, then asked how much she'd had to drink. Gasping and twitching, the woman said, 'I haven't had anything to drink officer. You see, I've got this Magic p**** thing stuck in my crotch and it won't stop screwing me.' The rest, as they say, is history...
"They got his own song 'He's just too good for you', it's quite unbelievable but when you see it and he's facing up someone - I actually feel sorry for them, 'Cos he actually is" - Ian Holloway |
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Icepick Tony Chester 07 Feb 11 2.25pm | |
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The 2 PRAWNS Lo and behold, Justin turned into a shark and horrified, Christian immediately swam away, afraid of being eaten by his old mate. With tears of joy in his tiny little eyes Justin swam back to his friends and bought them all a cocktail. Looking around the gathering at the reef he realized he couldn't see his old pal. I found Cod. I'm a Prawn again, Christian'
"They got his own song 'He's just too good for you', it's quite unbelievable but when you see it and he's facing up someone - I actually feel sorry for them, 'Cos he actually is" - Ian Holloway |
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Forest Hillbilly in a hidey-hole 09 Feb 11 12.06pm | |
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I met a young lady yesterday, who wanted an example of a double entendre. So I gave her one.
I disengage, I turn the page. |
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redders2000 Basildon upper holmesdale Block L ... 14 Feb 11 3.23pm | |
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A midget waddles into the library and asks, "Have you got a book on Irony?
5-0 We beat the scum 5-0 |
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Hoof Hearted 15 Feb 11 11.23am | |
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I caught my nan sucking my grandad's cock the other day. I said to her... "That's disgusting!.... couldn't it have been cremated with the rest of him nan?"
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rednblue4eva Norwood 15 Feb 11 12.38pm | |
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A family is at the dinner table. The son asks his father, 'Dad, how many kinds of boobs are there?' The father, surprised, answers, 'Well, son, a woman goes through three Phases. In her 20s, a woman's boobs are like melons, round and firm. In Her 30s to 40s, they are like pears, still nice but hanging a bit. After 50, they are like onions'. 'Onions?' 'Yes, you see them and they make you cry.' This infuriated his wife and daughter, so the daughter said,'mom, how Many kinds of 'willies' are there?' The mother, surprised, smiles and answers, 'Well dear, a man goes through Three phases also. In his 20s, his willy is like an oak tree, mighty and Hard. In his 30s and 40s, it is like a birch, flexible but reliable. After his 50s, it is like a Christmas tree'. 'A Christmas tree?' 'Yes --- dead from the roots up and the balls are just for decoration.'
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