Q: Why did the Post Office recall their latest stamps? A: They had pictures of Man Utd players on them and people couldn't figure out which side to spit on.

Q: Why do people like driving a car with a Charlton fan? A: Because you can park in the handicap zone!

Q: What's the difference between Chelsea and Tottenham? A: The last Chelsea Championship team picture isn't in black and white.

Q: What do you get when you combine all of the Millwall team with as many lesbians? A: A group of people people that dont do dick !

Q: What is the difference between a Millwall fan and a pot hole? A: I would swerve to avoid the pot hole!

Q: Whats the difference between Chelsea fan and a mosquito? A: A mosquito knows when to stops sucking.

Q: What do OPR and possums have in common? A: Both play dead at home and get killed on the road!

Q: What is the difference between a Liverpool fan and a baby? A: The baby will stop whining after a while.

Q: Did you hear that Liverpool are moving to the Phillipines? A: They are going to be called the Manilla Folders!

Q: What do Man Utd fans and sperm have in common? A: One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.

Q: How can you tell if a West Ham fan just sent you a fax? A: There's a stamp on it!

Q: What do the Liverpool f c. and Billy Graham have in common? A: They both can make 40,000 people stand up and yell "Jesus Christ".

Q: What is the difference between a bucket of s*** and an Millwall fan? A: The bucket.

Q: If you have a car containing a Millwaii full back, a Charlton Midfielfer, and a QPR Forward, who is driving the car? A: A Police Constable.

Q: How do you castrate an Tottenham fan? A: Kick his sister in the mouth

Q: What should you do if you find three Chelsea fans buried up to their neck in cement? A: Get more cement.

Q: What's the difference between an Man City fan and a carp? A: One is a bottom-feeding, scum sucker, and the other is a fish.

Q. How did the Norwich fan die from drinking milk? A. The cow fell on him!

Q: What does an Leeds Utd fan do when his team has won the The EPL.? A: He turns off the PlayStation

Q: What does a Millwall fan and a bottle of beer have in common? A: They're both empty from the neck up.

Q: Why do QPR fans keep their season tickets on their dashboards? A: So they can park in handicap spaces.

Q. Why do seagulls fly over Brightons fans upside down? A. There's nothing worth craping on!

Q: Why doesn't Hastings have a professional team? A: Because then Brighton would want one.

Q: Did you hear that the Wrexham team doesn't have a website? A: They can't string three "Ws" together.

Q: What is a Liverpools fan's favorite whine? A: "We can't beat Palace."

Q: What do Millwall use for birth control? A: Their personalities.

Q: How do you make a Chelsea fan laugh on Monday? A: Tell him a joke on Friday!

Q: You're trapped in a room with a Tiger, a Rattlesnake, and a Millwal fan. You have a gun with two bullets. What should you do? A: Shoot the Millwall Fan.......Twice!

Q: What do you call a Millwall player with an England Cap ? A: a thief.

Q: Why is Halloween the only night Millwall fans go out ? A: It's the night in the year on which they get a treat!

Q: Why do all the trees in the West London lean towards the east? A: It's because the Hammers suck.

Q: What is the diference between a cactus and the Man Utds team coach ? A: On a cactus the pricks are on the outside!

I took my broken vacuum cleaner back to the store. They put a Charlton jersey on it and now it sucks again.

Why did the Brighton fan cross the road.....I was thinking when I accelerated.

Dear Man City fans, rather than wasting money on a wooly hat, just strap a large rubber dildo to your head. EVERYONE will know who you support.

Police in Leeds responded to a call of a vehicle break-in. The owner of the vehicle said he had two tickets to a Leeds Utd game on his dash and someone busted his window and left two more Tigers tickets.

Snow White arrived home one evening to find her home destroyed by fire. She was especially worried because she'd left all seven dwarves asleep inside. As she scrambled among the wreckage, frantically calling their names, suddenly she heard the cry: "Liverpool for the Cup."

"Thank goodness," sobbed Snow White. "At least Dopey's still alive!
.....................................
Q. What's the similarity between Manchester United and a 3-pin plug?
A. They're both useless in Europe

Touch my coffee and I will slap you so hard even Google won't be able to find you.