effing cold this morning

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Forest Hillbilly in a hidey-hole 23 Jan 17 8.50am
couldn't even scrape the ice off the windscreen, it was so thick. So sprayed some de-icer, which promptly froze onto the windscreen. So left the engine running for 15 minutes, then turned the heating on, and the ice started the melt. Then I noticed the fuel gauge was on 'empty', so drove to the nearest garage. By the time I got there, it turned out all the gauges in the car had been frozen, but after the 10 minute drive were all back to where they should be. I have a 20 litre drum of distilled water in the back of the car.On the drive to the garage I could hear bits of ice sloshing around in the drum. and my willy has gone inverted and testicles hiding in my pelvis Edited by Forest Hillbilly (24 Jan 2017 3.04am) "The facts have changed", Rishi Sunak
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Forest Hillbilly

in a hidey-hole 23 Jan 17 8.50am

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couldn't even scrape the ice off the windscreen, it was so thick. So sprayed some de-icer, which promptly froze onto the windscreen.
So left the engine running for 15 minutes, then turned the heating on, and the ice started the melt.
Then I noticed the fuel gauge was on 'empty', so drove to the nearest garage. By the time I got there, it turned out all the gauges in the car had been frozen, but after the 10 minute drive were all back to where they should be.
I have a 20 litre drum of distilled water in the back of the car.On the drive to the garage I could hear bits of ice sloshing around in the drum.

and my willy has gone inverted and testicles hiding in my pelvis

Edited by Forest Hillbilly (24 Jan 2017 3.04am)

"The facts have changed", Rishi Sunak

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Michaelawt85 Bexley 23 Jan 17 9.09am
Yes it is freezing. Got a stinking cold as well. I want to hibernate When I was a young girl my Mother said to me.. You listen here kid you're CPFC
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Michaelawt85

Bexley 23 Jan 17 9.09am

Yes it is freezing. Got a stinking cold as well. I want to hibernate

When I was a young girl my Mother said to me.. You listen here kid you're CPFC

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Part Time James 23 Jan 17 9.55am
Originally posted by Forest Hillbilly couldn't even scrape the ice off the windscreen, it was so thick. So sprayed some de-icer, which promptly froze onto the windscreen. So left the engine running for 15 minutes, then turned the heating on, and the ice started the melt. Then I noticed the fuel gauge was on 'empty', so drove to the nearest garage. By the time I got there, it turned out all the gauges in the car had been frozen, but after the 10 minute drive were all back to where they should be. I have a 20 litre drum of distilled water in the back of the car.On the drive to the garage I could here bits of ice sloshing around in the drum. and my willy has gone inverted and testicles hiding in my pelvis Would you like me to coax them out so that you can hide them in my pelvis?
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Part Time James

23 Jan 17 9.55am

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Originally posted by Forest Hillbilly

and my willy has gone inverted and testicles hiding in my pelvis

Would you like me to coax them out so that you can hide them in my pelvis?

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mezzer Main Stand, Block F, Row 20 seat 1... 23 Jan 17 11.17am
Where's global warming when you need it? Living down here does have some advantages. At least you can see them cry.
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mezzer

Main Stand, Block F, Row 20 seat 1... 23 Jan 17 11.17am

Where's global warming when you need it?

Living down here does have some advantages. At least you can see them cry.

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Part Time James 23 Jan 17 11.41am
Originally posted by mezzer Where's global warming when you need it? ^ This guy is definitely getting my vote in this year's HOL awards!
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Part Time James

23 Jan 17 11.41am

Originally posted by mezzer

Where's global warming when you need it?

^ This guy is definitely getting my vote in this year's HOL awards!

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becky over the moon 23 Jan 17 2.55pm
Originally posted by Forest Hillbilly couldn't even scrape the ice off the windscreen, it was so thick. So sprayed some de-icer, which promptly froze onto the windscreen. So left the engine running for 15 minutes, then turned the heating on, and the ice started the melt. Then I noticed the fuel gauge was on 'empty', so drove to the nearest garage. By the time I got there, it turned out all the gauges in the car had been frozen, but after the 10 minute drive were all back to where they should be. I have a 20 litre drum of distilled water in the back of the car.On the drive to the garage I could here bits of ice sloshing around in the drum. and my willy has gone inverted and testicles hiding in my pelvis Halfords do a 'night-before' de-icer - works really well! Had a good laugh over this stuff when the OH did his windscreen with it a few years ago. The next morning it was about -4, and he got into the car, put the wipers on, and a pile of slush wiped to the bottom of the windscreen leaving naught but a couple of icy spots. The bloke in the drive opposite saw this, obviously thought a thaw had set in and turned his wipers on - result, two bits of metal frame scraping lines across his windscreen whilst the rubber blades remained firmly embedded in the ice at the bottom of the screen. Oh how we laughed! p.s would not recommend using this stuff on your willy Edited by becky (23 Jan 2017 2.57pm) A stairway to Heaven and a Highway to Hell give some indication of expected traffic numbers
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becky

over the moon 23 Jan 17 2.55pm

Originally posted by Forest Hillbilly

and my willy has gone inverted and testicles hiding in my pelvis

Halfords do a 'night-before' de-icer - works really well!

Had a good laugh over this stuff when the OH did his windscreen with it a few years ago. The next morning it was about -4, and he got into the car, put the wipers on, and a pile of slush wiped to the bottom of the windscreen leaving naught but a couple of icy spots. The bloke in the drive opposite saw this, obviously thought a thaw had set in and turned his wipers on - result, two bits of metal frame scraping lines across his windscreen whilst the rubber blades remained firmly embedded in the ice at the bottom of the screen.

Oh how we laughed!

p.s would not recommend using this stuff on your willy

Edited by becky (23 Jan 2017 2.57pm)

A stairway to Heaven and a Highway to Hell give some indication of expected traffic numbers

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Forest Hillbilly in a hidey-hole 24 Jan 17 3.07am
Todays tip: Do not spray 'Deep Heat' anywhere near your genitals "The facts have changed", Rishi Sunak
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Forest Hillbilly

in a hidey-hole 24 Jan 17 3.07am

Todays tip:

Do not spray 'Deep Heat' anywhere near your genitals

"The facts have changed", Rishi Sunak

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Harry Beever Newbury 24 Jan 17 8.08am
On a similar note, unless you want to be single, don't drop the paw on the Mrs if you've been cooking with chilli. Speaking from experience it doesn't end well.
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Harry Beever

Newbury 24 Jan 17 8.08am

On a similar note, unless you want to be single, don't drop the paw on the Mrs if you've been cooking with chilli. Speaking from experience it doesn't end well.

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Forest Hillbilly in a hidey-hole 24 Jan 17 8.20am
Originally posted by Harry Beever On a similar note, unless you want to be single, don't drop the paw on the Mrs if you've been cooking with chilli. Speaking from experience it doesn't end well. I have two bad experiences of cooking with chilli. Both were toilet-orientated. Both required yogurt to be urgently applied to my genitals. (front and back) "The facts have changed", Rishi Sunak
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Forest Hillbilly

in a hidey-hole 24 Jan 17 8.20am

Originally posted by Harry Beever

On a similar note, unless you want to be single, don't drop the paw on the Mrs if you've been cooking with chilli. Speaking from experience it doesn't end well.

I have two bad experiences of cooking with chilli.
Both were toilet-orientated.
Both required yogurt to be urgently applied to my genitals. (front and back)

"The facts have changed", Rishi Sunak

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paperhat croydon 25 Jan 17 12.33pm
Originally posted by Forest Hillbilly I have two bad experiences of cooking with chilli. Both were toilet-orientated. Both required yogurt to be urgently applied to my genitals. (front and back) you have back genitalia?? Clinton is Clinton. I have known him for a long time, I know his mother... Simon Jordan
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paperhat

croydon 25 Jan 17 12.33pm

Originally posted by Forest Hillbilly

I have two bad experiences of cooking with chilli.
Both were toilet-orientated.
Both required yogurt to be urgently applied to my genitals. (front and back)

you have back genitalia??

Clinton is Clinton. I have known him for a long time, I know his mother... Simon Jordan

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Part Time James 25 Jan 17 12.48pm
Originally posted by paperhat you have back genitalia?? Does the ring piece count as genitalia if you use it for sexual purposes?
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Part Time James

25 Jan 17 12.48pm

Originally posted by paperhat

you have back genitalia??

Does the ring piece count as genitalia if you use it for sexual purposes?

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paperhat croydon 25 Jan 17 12.55pm
Originally posted by Part Time James Does the ring piece count as genitalia if you use it for sexual purposes? his obviously does Clinton is Clinton. I have known him for a long time, I know his mother... Simon Jordan
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paperhat

croydon 25 Jan 17 12.55pm

Originally posted by Part Time James

Does the ring piece count as genitalia if you use it for sexual purposes?

his obviously does

Clinton is Clinton. I have known him for a long time, I know his mother... Simon Jordan

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