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April 29 2024 2.53am

If you could have a third ....

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View ex hibitionist's Profile ex hibitionist Flag Hastings 07 May 17 7.44pm Send a Private Message to ex hibitionist Add ex hibitionist as a friend

... got a bit of deja vu, forgive me if someone has asked this before, but bcos most body parts and various other things come in pairs mainly down to universal symmetry, having three of something is normally seen as a deformity rather than an advantage. But which thing would you have three of given the choice? I dismissed a third bollock, three buttocks would make toilet duties too complicated, a third lung might be good for long distance running, and a third mother-in-law is not worth thinking about. I'd probably go for a third eye on the end of my Hampton wick, you may argue I already have one, but a real extra one so placed would surely enhance sexual intercourse. So Holers, your third choices please...

 

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View Michaelawt85's Profile Michaelawt85 Flag Bexley 07 May 17 7.56pm Send a Private Message to Michaelawt85 Add Michaelawt85 as a friend

A third hand. Useful for multi tasking, eating / drinking whilst driving , keeping hold of the kids, using the phone whilst cooking etc

 


When I was a young girl my Mother said to me.. You listen here kid you're CPFC

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View HeathMan's Profile HeathMan Flag Purley 07 May 17 8.11pm Send a Private Message to HeathMan Holmesdale Online Elite Member Add HeathMan as a friend

My addition to this conversation

Best wishes

AND GOD CREATED MOTHERS

When God was creating Wives/Mothers, He was into His sixth day of overtime when an angel appeared and said, “You’re doing a lot of fiddling around on this one”.
And God said, “Have you read the specifications on this order? She has to be completely washable, but not plastic…have 180 moveable parts – all replace able…run on tea and leftovers…have a lap that disappears when she stands up…a kiss that can cure anything from a broken leg to a disappointed love affair…and six pairs of hands.
The angel shook her head slowly and said “Six pairs of hands? No Way”.
“It’s not the hands that are causing me problems”, said God. “It’s the three pairs of eyes that the model must have”
“That’s on the standard model”, asked the angel.
God nodded. “One pair sees through closed doors when she asks, “What are you children doing in there” when she already knows. Another in the back of her head that she sees what she shouldn’t but what she has to know. And, of course, the ones in front that can look at a child when he gets himself into trouble and say “I understand and l love you” without so much as uttering a word.
“God” said the angel, touching his sleeve gently, “go to bed. Tomorrow is another……….”
“I can’t” said God. “I’m so close now. Already l have one who heals herself when she is sick, can feed a family of six on one pound of mince, and can get a nine-year-old to have a bath”.
The angel circled the model slowly. “It’s too soft”, she sighed.
“But tough”, said God excitedly. “You cannot imagine what this model wife/mother can do or endure”.
“Can it think?” asked the angel.
“Not only think, but l think it can reason and compromise”, said the Creator.
Finally the angel bent over and ran a finger across the cheek.
“There’s a leak”, she pronounced.
It’s not a leak”, said the Lord. “It’s a tear”.
“What’s it for”.
“It’s for joy, sadness, disappointment, pain, loneliness and pride”, God said.
“You really are a genius, Lord”, said the angel.
The Lord looked sombre. “I didn’t put it there”.


 

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View ex hibitionist's Profile ex hibitionist Flag Hastings 07 May 17 8.16pm Send a Private Message to ex hibitionist Add ex hibitionist as a friend

nice post, however you are raising the tone of the conversation, the general idea is to lower it

 

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View Michaelawt85's Profile Michaelawt85 Flag Bexley 07 May 17 9.04pm Send a Private Message to Michaelawt85 Add Michaelawt85 as a friend

oh Heathman.. why am I crying now ffs.

Someone lower the standards quickly and make me laugh x

 


When I was a young girl my Mother said to me.. You listen here kid you're CPFC

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View Michaelawt85's Profile Michaelawt85 Flag Bexley 07 May 17 9.33pm Send a Private Message to Michaelawt85 Add Michaelawt85 as a friend

Waiting for someone to say three p****'. One for each hole..

Who's going to be the first to say it

My money's on Part time James or bubble wrap

 


When I was a young girl my Mother said to me.. You listen here kid you're CPFC

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View Mapletree's Profile Mapletree Flag Croydon 07 May 17 9.36pm Send a Private Message to Mapletree Add Mapletree as a friend

Originally posted by Michaelawt85

Waiting for someone to say three p****'. One for each hole..

Who's going to be the first to say it

My money's on Part time James or bubble wrap

As my money was on you Michaela it looks like I won.

 

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View ex hibitionist's Profile ex hibitionist Flag Hastings 07 May 17 9.36pm Send a Private Message to ex hibitionist Add ex hibitionist as a friend

Originally posted by Michaelawt85

Waiting for someone to say three p****'. One for each hole..

Who's going to be the first to say it

My money's on Part time James or bubble wrap


I don't know if the plural is labia or labium but would you fancy having of three of them? And if so please tell us where exactly you'd have the third one.

 

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View ex hibitionist's Profile ex hibitionist Flag Hastings 07 May 17 9.43pm Send a Private Message to ex hibitionist Add ex hibitionist as a friend

Originally posted by ex hibitionist


I don't know if the plural is labia or labium but would you fancy having of three of them? And if so please tell us where exactly you'd have the third one.

And before you get clever saying inner or outer, either, or you could have six instead of four so where would the other two go?

 

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View Michaelawt85's Profile Michaelawt85 Flag Bexley 07 May 17 10.13pm Send a Private Message to Michaelawt85 Add Michaelawt85 as a friend

Originally posted by ex hibitionist

And before you get clever saying inner or outer, either, or you could have six instead of four so where would the other two go?

Palm of each hand. Could act like suckers to climb up things

 


When I was a young girl my Mother said to me.. You listen here kid you're CPFC

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View Rudi Hedman's Profile Rudi Hedman Flag Caterham 07 May 17 10.18pm Send a Private Message to Rudi Hedman Add Rudi Hedman as a friend

Originally posted by Michaelawt85

Waiting for someone to say three p****'. One for each hole..

Who's going to be the first to say it

My money's on Part time James or bubble wrap

You'd then look like a d1ck head.

 


COYP

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View NKEagle's Profile NKEagle Flag Pyongyang 07 May 17 10.38pm Send a Private Message to NKEagle Add NKEagle as a friend

Originally posted by Michaelawt85

Waiting for someone to say three p****'. One for each hole..

Who's going to be the first to say it

My money's on Part time James or bubble wrap

For that to work, the third one would have to be shaped like a shepherd's crook.

 

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