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Questions for Brighton fans.

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View Forest Hillbilly's Profile Forest Hillbilly Flag in a hidey-hole 11 Jul 10 6.14pm Send a Private Message to Forest Hillbilly Add Forest Hillbilly as a friend

this thread should have been Gold about 2 pages ago. Unfortunately, I think we are running out of puns.

My wife was in Brighton this weekend and went to a beauty parlour for some pampering. Unfortunately none of the male staff were interested in giving her a facial, and only gained some enthusiasm for the mud-packing.

Edited by Forest Hillbilly (12 Jul 2010 2:37am)

 


"The facts have changed", Rishi Sunak

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View Red'n'Blue Blood's Profile Red'n'Blue Blood Flag East Grinstead 11 Jul 10 11.10pm Send a Private Message to Red'n'Blue Blood Add Red'n'Blue Blood as a friend

My friend has just moved his sweet emporium to sussex and was wondering if any brighton fans would be interested in fudge packing.

 

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Lancing BHA Flag Lancing 13 Jul 10 1.15pm

Quote Red'n'Blue Blood at 11 Jul 2010 11:10pm

My friend has just moved his sweet emporium to sussex and was wondering if any brighton fans would be interested in fudge packing.


Says someone who lives in Sussex himself, and, no doubt, has chosen to do so.

 

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View Forest Hillbilly's Profile Forest Hillbilly Flag in a hidey-hole 13 Jul 10 6.25pm Send a Private Message to Forest Hillbilly Add Forest Hillbilly as a friend

The end of the school year is nigh and parents will spend the summer preparing their children, for perhaps, a new school. They all want their children to look their best, as first impressions can be very important.

Brighton fans, can you give any parents some tips on grooming young boys ?

 


"The facts have changed", Rishi Sunak

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View The Sash's Profile The Sash Flag Now residing in Epsom - How Posh 16 Jul 10 1.36pm Send a Private Message to The Sash Add The Sash as a friend

I am due to attend a bbq in Brighton tomorrow evening. The group of lads who I am meeting there all share a wonderful house and today one of them, Piers, called me to tell me what was on the menu and whats my favourite

I do love poultry so Piers is making sure plenty goes over the coals for me and told me how much Tarquin and the rest of the gang are looking forward to my visit

He did ask me how long I like to have my cock smoked for, should I be worried ??

 


As far as the rules go, it's a website not a democracy - Hambo 3/6/2014

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View Red'n'Blue Blood's Profile Red'n'Blue Blood Flag East Grinstead 16 Jul 10 11.39pm Send a Private Message to Red'n'Blue Blood Add Red'n'Blue Blood as a friend

I have recently moved to Sussex and start my new warehouse job for a major high street retailer.
My job entails moving clothing around the warehouse onto different levels but Im slightly worried as I haven't got a clue how to get the shirts to the top level?
Wondering if any Brighton fans could give some advice on shirt lifting!

 

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View BeatsTheEagle's Profile BeatsTheEagle Flag Sutton 20 Jul 10 5.00pm Send a Private Message to BeatsTheEagle Add BeatsTheEagle as a friend

I have a small motorboat which is moored in Poole Harbour.

I use it to run a scuba diving club and whenever we go out to sea we follow the 'Channel Markers' to avoid running aground.

Last week, when I was in the pub at 'Poole Quayside', I heard some old fisherman relaying a story about how some of the 'Brinks Matt' gold is being hidden under the sea, at the mooring point of one of these markers.

What with things being the way they are, I could really do with finding this gold, and as I have both the boat and the diving expertise to get some, I thought I would give it a go.

However there are some 180 of the said markers.

Brighton fans, do you think you could give me some advice about which 'Buoy' to go down on?

 

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View Dulwichsteve's Profile Dulwichsteve Flag (Another Girl) Another Planet 20 Jul 10 5.33pm Send a Private Message to Dulwichsteve Add Dulwichsteve as a friend

Seamus my Irish cousin came home earlier today to find three intruders in the house. Two ran off leaving one in the cellar so Seamus locked the door.
He wants to know, Brighton fans, what should he do with the turd burglar.

 


I'm a sleeping dog, but you can't tell
When I'm on the prowl you'd better run like hell

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View redandbluebarmy's Profile redandbluebarmy Flag Epsom 21 Jul 10 12.51pm Send a Private Message to redandbluebarmy Add redandbluebarmy as a friend

My good friend has just got himself a little flat in Brighton bit of an investment I suppose but for obvious reasons doesn't want to live anywere near there so wants to rent it out.

he wants to know if any Brighton fans want to become rent boys!

 


TEA IS FOR MUGS!

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View Holmesdale Steve's Profile Holmesdale Steve Flag East Grinstead 21 Jul 10 11.20pm Send a Private Message to Holmesdale Steve Add Holmesdale Steve as a friend

My best friend has just gone to prison because one of his mates grassed him up to the police.

Brighton fans. I was wondering if any of you have been fingered by a mate?

 


There's a bloke down my road who walks round in a Tesco's carrier bag. Turns out he is a brighton faggot.

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View BeatsTheEagle's Profile BeatsTheEagle Flag Sutton 26 Jul 10 4.28pm Send a Private Message to BeatsTheEagle Add BeatsTheEagle as a friend

Not sure if this is the best place to get rid of them but I have been given 4 Tickest for the Emirates Cup Game against Celtic on 1st August 2010.

They cover a full day out, including Limousine Transfer to and from the ground.

Obviously, I have no intention of using them, but was wondering if any Brighton Fans fancied being 'Taken up the Arse' that day?

 

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View jj101189's Profile jj101189 Flag Addington 26 Jul 10 4.35pm Send a Private Message to jj101189 Add jj101189 as a friend

Quote Red'n'Blue Blood at 11 Jul 2010 11:10pm

My friend has just moved his sweet emporium to sussex and was wondering if any brighton fans would be interested in fudge packing.


My friend too, has also moved his sweet emporium to sussex, and since it is by the sea he has decided to specialise in sea-related confectionary.

He was wondering if any Brighton fans would be interested in trying a Chocolate Starfish?

 


You know what the trouble is Brucie? We used to make shit in this country, build shit. Now we just put our hand in the next guy's pocket.

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