January 26 2008

Neil Warnock

Jamesey admires the output of a witty and excellent writer - one Neil Warnock.

There were lots of potentially exciting FA Cup games on Saturday (Jan 26) but a vacuum on the Palace front until Monday. So I spent the afternoon catching up on various tasks I hadn't got round to.

One of the little jobs I had promised myself was to read the highly recommended column by Neil Warnock in The Independent.

Like most sensible Palace supporters I have long cast away the serious doubts I had about Neil on his appointment and can only applaud just about every move he has made so far, culminating in three super signings... Shaun Derry, Clinton Hill and Neil Danns.

As a former hack myself, I know full well that many an illiterate load of drivel can be turned into sparkling and readable copy by that neglected and overlooked foot-soldier of the national press, the sub-editor.

But I have to say that Neil's column comes over with such force and is so full of his own strong and amusing personality that I genuinely doubt that much rewriting was done.

His accounts of all the January transfer shenanigans make fascinating reading.

From autumn onwards, Neil has been inundated with nearly 50 DVDs and videos from agents, which like many movie trailers, naturally only show the best bits.

To be fair, you are unlikely to be sent a keeper's DVD including all the goals he let in, or one with all the goals a striker missed.

Neil never goes to watch a player unless his staff have already seen him, given the nod and recommended a butcher's hook.

One of Neil's principal sources of advice is Martin Ferguson, brother of Sir Alex, who has an encyclopaedic knowledge of European footballers and is apparently happy to share his material with our manager. Sounds like a priceless contact.

There is much more than this in Neil's column and I would thoroughly recommend it to HOL members as an almost indispensable read (you can see it on Palace Talk - eds).

However, before I wind down, I have to mention Neil's droll response to Kevin Keegan's idiotic remark that "up north people go to football, down south they go to the theatre."

Treating that nonsense with the mockery it deserves, Neil says he's going to a show instead of a football match and is worried he is going native.

And he is concerned that at this rate he will soon be having jellied eels for tea instead of chip butties.

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