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Mikeybaby 30 May 12 9.30am | |
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My missus asked for anal. So I alphabetised her CD collection.
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Hoof Hearted 30 May 12 11.10am | |
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Quote Kermit8 at 11 May 2012 12.17pm
Did you know all male tennis players are into voodoo? Goran. Ivanesivic.
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becky over the moon 30 May 12 9.47pm | |
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Baby's First Doctor Visit A woman and a baby were in the doctor's examining room, waiting for the doctor to come in for the baby's first examination. The doctor arrived, and examined the baby, checked his weight, and being a little concerned, asked if the baby was breast-fed or bottle-fed. 'Breast-fed,' she replied.. 'Well, strip down to your waist,' the doctor ordered. She did. He pinched her nipples, pressed, kneaded, and rubbed both breasts for a while in a very professional and detailed examination. Motioning to her to get dressed, the doctor said, 'No wonder this baby is underweight. You don't have any milk.' I know,' she said, 'I'm his Grandma, But I'm glad I came.
A stairway to Heaven and a Highway to Hell give some indication of expected traffic numbers |
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jelholyoake 07 Jun 12 9.52pm | |
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I've come up with a talent show idea where you have to impersonate one of the Monty Python team.
When i see him, it's gonna be painful. Skinny little cont. |
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Palacetinian Surrey Fam 07 Jun 12 10.36pm | |
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My girlfriend went to the doctors today as she was feeling uncomfortable in her chest. After she put her blouse back on the doctor said "you have acute angina". She was a bit taken aback and felt she should respond in kind. "Thanks", she said, you aren't bad looking yourself"!!
Supporting Crystal Palace since 19.45 on 29th August 1972 (approximately)! |
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Hoof Hearted 18 Jun 12 10.49am | |
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If a pig loses it's voice is it disgruntled?
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jelholyoake 24 Jun 12 11.15am | |
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My wife said that our Chinese ar5ehole neighbour had gone back to Peking. I jumped on the chance to correct her, "I think it's called Beijing, now" "All right smart ar5e...." she snapped, "...The Chinese ar5ehole neighbour has gone back to BEIJING through the window at me when I'm getting undressed"
When i see him, it's gonna be painful. Skinny little cont. |
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jelholyoake 24 Jun 12 12.00pm | |
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I said to my girlfriend "Please get me a newspaper."
When i see him, it's gonna be painful. Skinny little cont. |
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jelholyoake 26 Jun 12 7.51pm | |
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The difference between the sexes: A woman sees a skidmark in the toilet bowl and thinks "I'll get my marigolds on and scrub that off with the new cinnamon & apple blossom scented Harpic."
When i see him, it's gonna be painful. Skinny little cont. |
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nickgusset Shizzlehurst 26 Jun 12 8.10pm | |
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I bought some new aftershave called 'breadcrumbs'
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Only 10 a year!! 28 Jun 12 10.24pm | |
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Quote Hoof Hearted at 30 May 2012 11.10am
Quote Kermit8 at 11 May 2012 12.17pm
Did you know all male tennis players are into voodoo? Goran. Ivanesivic.
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doi209 Fighting for the weak and innocent... 28 Jun 12 10.30pm | |
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Whats the boiling point of water ? To make a cup of tea.
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