Not going to happen. Not even close to happening.

It would be a catastrophe of epic proportions.

Mourinho " Steve, I want to sign Van Dijk"

Steve "We can't afford that, we'll give Gary Cahill a new contract instead"

Mourinho goes off in a hump and loses the next 5 games.

I personally wouldn't mind mourinho. He has said positive things about Palace in the past and the stars have aligned somewhat. I think he would keep us up anyway, high profile name, maybe that could attract some players. Not sure what his policy on youth is though? Id want a manager next who would give youth players a chance on merit and not only through necessity, like Roy.

As a character Mourinho is one of the best in the game, but in terms of the football he is possibly even more negative than Roy. His ego wouldn't allow him to join us anyway so this is a non starter.

This is spot on. Also, it's too small. He walks the world stage and isn't going to want that to change.

Success will lie to you but failure always tells you the truth.

We couldn't even afford his financial advisor's fee. Ginger Mourinho, maybe.