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June 3 2024 8.58am

My Last Post..... EVER!

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View morganistic's Profile morganistic Flag 07 Dec 06 2.38pm Send a Private Message to morganistic Add morganistic as a friend

variation on an old one


what's got 100 legs and 900 billion trillion pubes?

front row of an Alanis Morrissette concert

 


[Link]
''careful Penny - we don't know what we're dealing with here''

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View Oliver's Profile Oliver Flag Bodega Bay 07 Dec 06 2.40pm Send a Private Message to Oliver Add Oliver as a friend

Ahh the nostalgia

What do you call a dog with wings?
Linda McCartney

Why do they have Pepsi on the space shuttle?
Because they couldn't get 7up.

What the difference between George Best and Princess Di's chauffer?
George Best could take corners when he was pissed.

They were going to take a week to make Gene Pitney's coffin from oak but then decided against it when they found it would only take 24 hours from balsa.

 


I have prepared one of my own time capsules. I have placed some rather large samples of dynamite, gunpowder and nitroglycerin. My time capsule is set to go off in the year 3000. It will show them what we are really like.

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View braunstoneagle's Profile braunstoneagle Flag the middle of bumf*** nowhere... 07 Dec 06 2.44pm Send a Private Message to braunstoneagle Add braunstoneagle as a friend

....

Edited by braunstoneagle (07 Dec 2006 2:47pm)

 


‘Football isn’t instant coffee. You have to work at it. You must grow the bean, grind it.’ Ian Holloway


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chollis Flag Dingly Dell 07 Dec 06 2.46pm

Quote Cucking Funt at 07 Dec 2006 2:33pm

Quote chollis at 07 Dec 2006 2:32pm

Quote morganistic at 07 Dec 2006 2:30pm

yeh some wunnerful gags here.

Paul McCartney gathers his young children round him and says 'i've got some good news and some bad news, which one do you want first?' Stella says 'the bad news.'
So Macca goes 'Mum's dead'.
After she cries for a bit, Stella asks: 'and the good news?'
'Beef on Sunday!'

I still can't believe she's quorn.........



What do you call a dog with wings?

Linda McCartney

What's yellow and lives off dead beetles?(beatles... it's a verbal joke)

Yoko Ono

Same theme.....what's full of holes and comes in a yellow bag?
John Lennon.

What the difference between a turkey and John Denver's guitar?
The turkey will be plucked this xmas.

 


Loverman is a fcuking arsehole.

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View Oliver's Profile Oliver Flag Bodega Bay 07 Dec 06 2.47pm Send a Private Message to Oliver Add Oliver as a friend

How do they know Lord Mountbatten had dandruff?
They found his head and shoulders on the beach.

What's white and flies through the air?
Lord Mountbatten's plimsoll

 


I have prepared one of my own time capsules. I have placed some rather large samples of dynamite, gunpowder and nitroglycerin. My time capsule is set to go off in the year 3000. It will show them what we are really like.

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View saxoneagle's Profile saxoneagle Flag Bromley 07 Dec 06 2.47pm Send a Private Message to saxoneagle Add saxoneagle as a friend

Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath.

This made him..... A super-calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

 

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View saxoneagle's Profile saxoneagle Flag Bromley 07 Dec 06 2.48pm Send a Private Message to saxoneagle Add saxoneagle as a friend

After the pakistani earthquake, 10,000 bodies were found on the first day.

Rescuers will begin searching the second house tomorrow.

 

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chollis Flag Dingly Dell 07 Dec 06 2.50pm

After months of frantic searching in pakistan, a faint voice was heard from the rubble of the Earthquake..........."We are still open!"

 


Loverman is a fcuking arsehole.

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View braunstoneagle's Profile braunstoneagle Flag the middle of bumf*** nowhere... 07 Dec 06 2.53pm Send a Private Message to braunstoneagle Add braunstoneagle as a friend

what's the best thing about an Ethiopian blowjob?

you know she'll swallow!

 


‘Football isn’t instant coffee. You have to work at it. You must grow the bean, grind it.’ Ian Holloway


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View braunstoneagle's Profile braunstoneagle Flag the middle of bumf*** nowhere... 07 Dec 06 2.55pm Send a Private Message to braunstoneagle Add braunstoneagle as a friend

whats 12" long & stiff in the morning?

(please dont read if your easily offended)


cotdeath

 


‘Football isn’t instant coffee. You have to work at it. You must grow the bean, grind it.’ Ian Holloway


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View HorshamEagle's Profile HorshamEagle Flag under the union jack 07 Dec 06 2.59pm Send a Private Message to HorshamEagle Add HorshamEagle as a friend

Whats got 100 balls and f***s old ladies?


Bingo

 


Do you know where hell is?

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View HorshamEagle's Profile HorshamEagle Flag under the union jack 07 Dec 06 3.01pm Send a Private Message to HorshamEagle Add HorshamEagle as a friend

Apparently last week Alan "Fluff" Freemans family went to the graveyard to pick a gravestone and a suitable place to bury him. As they arrived they were greeted with the message "Welcome Plot pickers"

 


Do you know where hell is?

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