All right, Benteke scored in his 2 of his Selhurst Park appearances, but for 30 mill? A big no from me - that is not the Palace style even if the silly TV-money makes it possible. Sakho from Hammers or the central american Arsenal striker.

I find that sitting on the floor with feet behind my head, hands outstretched and chanting "buy" helps for a few minutes. Then it's back to refreshing website, smartphone, looking out for smoke signals and watching for the return of my damned pigeon with a signed Benteke photo clasped firmly in its talons (?)

Whatever works for you (nothing), keep doing it. If crossed fingers, meditating or any other superstitious twaddle helps get us through this, then great. I think that we should get a free massage with every season ticket for such stressful events.

Come on Benteke, you know you want us, just get your pen out and sign the bloody contract and put us all out of our misery.

So what is the 'Palace style'? Staggering into the PL, once a decade, via the playoffs, then going straight back down, after one disappointing season? This is our forth consecutive season and we've moved on from our previous style, although if we don't compete with our signings, we'll be rapidly returning to it.

Sakho managed just five goals (in 20 appearances) last season and it's no surprise that you couldn't recall Joel Campbell's name as he's only managed three in two seasons (although I don't think he's primarily a forward, is he?). And those two would cost us north of £20m; that's 'a big no from me'!

Bexley Dave

Can you hear the Brighton sing? I can't hear a ******* thing!

"The most arrogant, obnoxious bunch of deluded little sun tanned, loafer wearing mummy's boys I've ever had the misfortune of having to listen to" (Burnley forum)

But I also think we need two striker additions. If Sakho from West Ham is available too I'd be looking at that if I were Pardew. A choice of 1 of 3 or 2 of 3 (if going 442), of Benteke, Sakho and Wickham is actually pretty decent.

laddo

"People say, live fast, die young. I say live fast, die old. That's me, the non-conformist".
David Brent.

Assume not signing next week either as everybody will be in USA.

Praise to Palace defenders over the last few seasons who have kept the goal average reasonable and get forward as well.

Nobody seems to criticise the midfield but I cannot work out what they are doing - who is doing what? Cue Tony Pulis.

Dont think you can criticise one forward Adebayor or Benteke Wickham its a solitary life trying to get on the end of aimless crosses.

Oh for a modern Freedman and Morrison duo the Bournemouth manager said we had no partnerships astute of him.

Style well its all a bit biff bang wallop plenty of effort what can you say it works sometimes.

Actually think Haangeland Mariappa Adebayor will be missed also think Van Persie offers quality but not being considered.

Signing a big name for huge money makes a statement thats what we are told and other top players will join us the logic of the bankrupt.

Palace 13th 2017/18.

What is that crepe I just read??

Then he'll be all on his own at the training ground holding up a shirt for a selfie

Bexley Dave

Can you hear the Brighton sing? I can't hear a ******* thing!

"The most arrogant, obnoxious bunch of deluded little sun tanned, loafer wearing mummy's boys I've ever had the misfortune of having to listen to" (Burnley forum)

Anybody seen him at sainsburys car park yet ? That's the confirmation I need.