Bruce Forsyth Almighty
Jim Carrey and a host of senior mental health officials at the foot of MBC Television Centre will the former Play Your Cards Right host to jump off the roof and put his immortality where his mouth is.

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''careful Penny - we don't know what we're dealing with here''

Writhing Couplets
As part of MBC's poetry week, celebrities whose surnames sort of rhyme get together and have sex in front of camera, kicking off with an epic bloodsoaked session between Paul Merson and Gina Gershon. Contains nudity, alcohol, cocaine, a visit to the bookmakers after Paul's second and fourth orgasms and very poor use of language throughout.

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''careful Penny - we don't know what we're dealing with here''

Children In Nude

Presented by Gary Glitter this heartwarming drama shows little kids at their very best. Filmed in Thailand.

Writhing Couplets
Mark Bright can only bend over in awe as old Palace strike partner Ian Wright produces a virtuoso display of near-perfect bumming, popping it in from the most unlikeliest of angles before his banjo string splits in the 77th minute and he is replaced by a drunk and obnoxious Marco Pierre White. The greasy raggedy-haired cook is a selfish lover, finishing himself off inside Brighty before threatening to snip off Wrighty's fractured frenulum and fry it with onions, chilli and garlic

Edited by morganistic (02 Dec 2008 10:36am)

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''careful Penny - we don't know what we're dealing with here''

Writhing Couplets
MBC comedy stalwart Frances de La Tour and Aston Villa frontman Gabriel Agbonlahor enjoy seven hours of passionate inter-racial sex before Gabby pulls out with rising cramp

Edited by morganistic (05 Dec 2008 9:31am)

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''careful Penny - we don't know what we're dealing with here''

She's been round the block so many times she'd need a four page pull-out

That's just the ramblings of a madman