What a weird exchange. I feel like I have offended you in some way. I don't know if it was the nonce thing or the bacon.

Bacon is a term used in prison. So i have been told

Does that stand for anything or is it just a cuss that angry vegetarian convicts use?

Either way, another thing I'll admit I didn't know.

There's quite a few bacon insults

Bacon rind - Hind (posh way of calling someone an ars3)
Bacon & eggs - Chubby legs
Bacon sandwitch - bitch
Bacon beans tomato and mushrooms on toast - observation post (someone unusally tall)
Bacon runt - sorry, can't think of any more

Lend me a Tenor

31 May to 3 June 2017

John McIntosh Arts Centre
London Oratory School
SW6 1RX

with Superfly in the chorus
[Link]

Bacon Frazzle - Vajazzle

It's a bit verbose. The last thing you need is something wordy when you are arguing the case about your uncontrollably opening bomb hatch. For real emergency may I suggest "Let me in, I've got the bacons".

Or does it then go:
"The what's?"
"Well you remember those bacon bits from Pizza Hut?"
"No"
"They do them at Harvester too. At the salad bar, you know, a bit like the dried onion bits?"
"Oh yeah, me and the wife went there for my birthday, I do rather love the salad bar although it fills me up before my main course".
"Yeah, well, bacon bits, rhymes with 'sh*ts'"
"Yeah, you're right, it does.....oh mate, you have the sh*ts?"
"....no rush any more"