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April 19 2024 9.39am

Top tips

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View rednblueblood's Profile rednblueblood 18 Sep 15 9.38pm Send a Private Message to rednblueblood Add rednblueblood as a friend

Drivers,avoid punctures by filling your tyres with concrete. The small increase in petroleum will be covered by the fact that you will never have to buy new tyres.

 


In dog beers I’ve only had one.

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View kayjaybee's Profile kayjaybee Flag orpington 18 Sep 15 10.16pm Send a Private Message to kayjaybee Add kayjaybee as a friend

if you put smaller wheels on the front of your car and bigger ones on the back, in effect your car will be rolling downhill so you shouldn't ever need to put petrol in, admittedly reversing will be tricky

 

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View Qwijibo's Profile Qwijibo Flag Bournemouth 20 Sep 15 7.22pm Send a Private Message to Qwijibo Add Qwijibo as a friend

Smoke crack.

 

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View Red-Blue-Yellow's Profile Red-Blue-Yellow Flag Surrey 23 Sep 15 12.34pm Send a Private Message to Red-Blue-Yellow Add Red-Blue-Yellow as a friend

When in a Gay Bar, never ask if you can push someone's stool in.

 


I also enjoy posting on: Love Everton Forum, the Acceptable Face of Scouse Football.
[Link]
twitter.com/LuvEvertonForum
Come and give it a look, new members would be lovely.
Come and JOIN.
Or they'll nick your telly.

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View rednblueblood's Profile rednblueblood 03 Oct 15 5.40pm Send a Private Message to rednblueblood Add rednblueblood as a friend

Dog owners, when out with your pet and the call of nature happens, scoop their mess up and put it in a little plastic bag,and for that extra touch,hang it on a nearby tree or bush,decorating an already beautiful piece of fauna.

 


In dog beers I’ve only had one.

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Hoof Hearted 04 Oct 15 12.01pm

I have a "Top Tips" pen that I won by having 2 letters published in Viz in the 90's.

They also gave me 2 years subscription and the Crap Jokes book.

I've still got over 100 Viz comics, some annuals and other Viz related tat (that my Mrs wants rid of LOL).

I wish I had the original early Viz comics... they are worth a mint now.

My little stash is probably quite valuable.

 

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View kingdowieonthewall's Profile kingdowieonthewall Flag Sussex, ex-Cronx. 04 Oct 15 12.06pm Send a Private Message to kingdowieonthewall Add kingdowieonthewall as a friend

Quote Hoof Hearted at 04 Oct 2015 12.01pm

I have a "Top Tips" pen that I won by having 2 letters published in Viz in the 90's.

They also gave me 2 years subscription and the Crap Jokes book.

I've still got over 100 Viz comics, some annuals and other Viz related tat (that my Mrs wants rid of LOL).

I wish I had the original early Viz comics... they are worth a mint now.

My little stash is probably quite valuable.


This explains a lot unc.

 


Kids,tired of being bothered by your pesky parents?
Then leave home, get a job & pay your own bills, while you still know everything.

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Hoof Hearted 04 Oct 15 12.11pm

Quote kingdowieonthewall at 04 Oct 2015 12.06pm

Quote Hoof Hearted at 04 Oct 2015 12.01pm

I have a "Top Tips" pen that I won by having 2 letters published in Viz in the 90's.

They also gave me 2 years subscription and the Crap Jokes book.

I've still got over 100 Viz comics, some annuals and other Viz related tat (that my Mrs wants rid of LOL).

I wish I had the original early Viz comics... they are worth a mint now.

My little stash is probably quite valuable.


This explains a lot unc.


I know Bob...........

 

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Plane Flag Bromley 04 Oct 15 12.14pm

Never wipe your ar$e with a broken bottle!

 

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View Red-Blue-Yellow's Profile Red-Blue-Yellow Flag Surrey 05 Oct 15 7.14pm Send a Private Message to Red-Blue-Yellow Add Red-Blue-Yellow as a friend

To keep your toilet spotlessly clean without using chemicals harmful to the environment, simply put clingfilm over it.


Saving the planet one step at a time.

 


I also enjoy posting on: Love Everton Forum, the Acceptable Face of Scouse Football.
[Link]
twitter.com/LuvEvertonForum
Come and give it a look, new members would be lovely.
Come and JOIN.
Or they'll nick your telly.

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View Red-Blue-Yellow's Profile Red-Blue-Yellow Flag Surrey 05 Oct 15 7.16pm Send a Private Message to Red-Blue-Yellow Add Red-Blue-Yellow as a friend

Porridge is not a contraceptive.

 


I also enjoy posting on: Love Everton Forum, the Acceptable Face of Scouse Football.
[Link]
twitter.com/LuvEvertonForum
Come and give it a look, new members would be lovely.
Come and JOIN.
Or they'll nick your telly.

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View lankygit's Profile lankygit Flag Lincoln 05 Oct 15 9.18pm Send a Private Message to lankygit Add lankygit as a friend

Make people think you own a parrot by applying bird droppings to one side of your jacket.

 


Is this a five minute argument, or the full half hour? [Link]

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