Surely he must be black, Asian, Gay, Lesbian, female, disabled?

Paua oouaarancì Irà chiyeah Ishé galé ma ba oo ah

He's as funny as an in-growing toenail.

Really? May I enquire as to what 's***' you are smoking or how many bottles of Absinthe a day you are downing?

"That was fun and to round off the day, I am off to steal a charity collection box and then desecrate a place of worship.” - Smokey, The Selhurst Arms, 26/02/02

The half hour shows don't work very well to be fair. I saw him live and have watched his live DVDs e.g. 'Carpet Remnant World'.

I find him very funny. I've read reviews though, where the reviewer doesn't understand that he's joking about certain members of the audience not getting his jokes and him splitting the audience into those that get it and those that don't.
If you read his book "How I escaped my certain Fate" he explains how he uses that technique to create an edge in the room.

I think his problem is some people take him at face value and don't realise he's actually very self-depreciating - like Ricky Gervais in Extras - all the jokes were at his expense but some people couldn't see past him acting like an arse.

Give Carpet Remnant World a go Matt if you want to see what he's all about and perhaps you'll change your mind. In my opinion he's definitely worth investing a little time in.

You fed me, you bred me, I'll remember your name.

I don't like horseradish

How does this cr*p ever get sold? Why would anyone think that it's food.

I think the world really needs to know my views on this and all the other things I don't like.

I love hearing what you like and don't like. I just love hearing from you. It brightens my day, no, week and I hope that you continue to share your unique take on the World with us here on a public message board for many, many years to come.

"That was fun and to round off the day, I am off to steal a charity collection box and then desecrate a place of worship.” - Smokey, The Selhurst Arms, 26/02/02