I like the kit. I like thinking about Saturdays, and when Saturdays don't go too well, I have a drink and think about the next Saturday, because there are lots of Saturdays to come.

And I like my team because I remember being at the opera in Germany (a girlfriend's idea) in 2001, with my phone turned off because the opera, and my team needed to beat Stockport.

At the interval, I turned my phone on. Lots of text messages from my mate in England. The last one was 'You did it. God knows how. You stay up. Unbelievable'.

I shouted a great 'yes' and went down on my knees, and then all the way down until I was lying on the floor. My girlfriend was horrified. A total stranger opened his hands to me, like you do when you don't know what's going on. I said 'Fussball'.

He said 'Ah, Fussball', and shook my hand. Can't remember what the opera was, can't remember what my girlfriend looked like. I remember the man, and the text message, and my team.

I don't care who the manager is. I don't care who scores the goals. I don't care what anyone else thinks. I love my team, because.

We sacked managers after 4 games. Club shambles

Another Damien Diagonal - Total Football

Ha ha

Another Damien Diagonal - Total Football

45 years ago when faced with the choice of Chelsea or Palace I picked the wrong one