Shed loads, but will keep it brief as possible

At 18yrs old, my mate had his first job with some accountancy firm. They had a Christmas 'do' at an upper-class hotel with their bestest clients.

My mate got mullered, some 'scenes' were caused, clients were lost, and my mate was fired.

more to follow, . . .

In 2001 I worked for a company in Guildford, Surrey. There was a drinking culture amongst a lot of the staff (about 30 staff in total). The four engineers I was part of working with had been drinking most of the day.
We arrived at the Guildford restaurant , to be told by one of the Directors, "If you ain't got a pint in each hand, you're a queer"
So after pre-dinner drinks, we went upstairs to our table.
(my memory is dis-jointed at this stage )

I start French-kissing a female south-African office worker. She responds. (in front of all the seated staff)

then a spat starts between one of the Directors and a subordinate. The Director calls the worker a homosexual, because he isn't drinking enough.
The worker responds with the line, "Why don't you shut the fck up and start banging your secretary up the @r5e ?" (which was common knowledge around the office)

Director "Right you cnt, outside, NOW!"

So the Director and subordinate are rolling around Guildford High Street, before some idiot breaks the scuffle up.

There was some stuff at a nightclub in Guildford, but I was too pished to remember.
Then me and a mate walk back to the office (where we have unauthorised keys to) with the intention of sleeping. But my mum calls my mobile to offer a lift home, and my mate grabs the phone (ex-submariner) and gives her abuse.
I punch fck out of him and leave my colleague unconscious on a traffic island.
I then walk the 2 minutes to the office and get in a company van and drive to my mothers house some 15 miles away.

I have no recollection of previous events the next morning. The company van had slight damage, which I repaired at my own expense.
The south-African bint was banged by someone more sober than me.

The fighting Director offered his resignation the next day, but it was declined.

No-one ever spoke about the events of that night. Ever

In 2001 I worked for a company in Guildford, Surrey. There was a drinking culture amongst a lot of the staff (about 30 staff in total). The four engineers I was part of working with had been drinking most of the day.
We arrived at the Guildford restaurant , to be told by one of the Directors, "If you ain't got a pint in each hand, you're a queer"
So after pre-dinner drinks, we went upstairs to our table.
(my memory is dis-jointed at this stage )

I start French-kissing a female south-African office worker. She responds. (in front of all the seated staff)

then a spat starts between one of the Directors and a subordinate. The Director calls the worker a homosexual, because he isn't drinking enough.
The worker responds with the line, "Why don't you shut the fck up and start banging your secretary up the @r5e ?" (which was common knowledge around the office)

Director "Right you cnt, outside, NOW!"

So the Director and subordinate are rolling around Guildford High Street, before some idiot breaks the scuffle up.

There was some stuff at a nightclub in Guildford, but I was too pished to remember.
Then me and a mate walk back to the office (where we have unauthorised keys to) with the intention of sleeping. But my mum calls my mobile to offer a lift home, and my mate grabs the phone (ex-submariner) and gives her abuse.
I punch fck out of him and leave my colleague unconscious on a traffic island.
I then walk the 2 minutes to the office and get in a company van and drive to my mothers house some 15 miles away.

I have no recollection of previous events the next morning. The company van had slight damage, which I repaired at my own expense.
The south-African bint was banged by someone more sober than me.

The fighting Director offered his resignation the next day, but it was declined.

No-one ever spoke about the events of that night. Ever