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December 5 2020 11.32am

Hospital experiences

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View phewwhatascorcher's Profile phewwhatascorcher Flag Wembley 22 Sep 20 12.33pm Send a Private Message to phewwhatascorcher Add phewwhatascorcher as a friend

I had to go into hospital for a colonoscopy. They told me it would take 30-45 mins. However after 1 and a quarter hours of them taking wrong turns with the hosepipe, causing me much pain and my muscles to spasm quite stongly they had to bring in reinforcments in the shape of a rather elderly and senior doctor to finish the job and remove any polyps found. So there I was completely conscious on the op table in the foetal position surrounded by docs, nurses and technicians and screens showing my internals and what felt like half a mile of hosepipe stuffed where the sun doesn't shine and this senior doctor turned to me and said "Mr Phewwahatascorcher you have the tightest colon I've ever come across " - well I was lost for words - was he complementing or insulting me or maybe trying to chat me up - had he been using his own special lube to ease the process I try not to think about it too much. BTW earlier this year I received a letter from this particular Bowel cancer unit saying that they had reviewed my file and that it was considered too dangerous to continue having these regular colonoscopies and to contact them only if I was having symptoms.

 

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View orpingtoneagle's Profile orpingtoneagle Flag Orpington 22 Sep 20 2.03pm Send a Private Message to orpingtoneagle Add orpingtoneagle as a friend

This thread should be re named Carry on Mayday or dubious 1970"s p*** fantasies of the more mature HOL 'er.

Ooooh Matron......

 

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View cryrst's Profile cryrst Flag Chatham 22 Sep 20 5.32pm Send a Private Message to cryrst Add cryrst as a friend

Originally posted by phewwhatascorcher

I had to go into hospital for a colonoscopy. They told me it would take 30-45 mins. However after 1 and a quarter hours of them taking wrong turns with the hosepipe, causing me much pain and my muscles to spasm quite stongly they had to bring in reinforcments in the shape of a rather elderly and senior doctor to finish the job and remove any polyps found. So there I was completely conscious on the op table in the foetal position surrounded by docs, nurses and technicians and screens showing my internals and what felt like half a mile of hosepipe stuffed where the sun doesn't shine and this senior doctor turned to me and said "Mr Phewwahatascorcher you have the tightest colon I've ever come across " - well I was lost for words - was he complementing or insulting me or maybe trying to chat me up - had he been using his own special lube to ease the process I try not to think about it too much. BTW earlier this year I received a letter from this particular Bowel cancer unit saying that they had reviewed my file and that it was considered too dangerous to continue having these regular colonoscopies and to contact them only if I was having symptoms.

Did he have both hands on your shoulders and whisper in your left ear when asking this
You old flirt you!

 

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