"Just because i'm paranoid it doesn't mean there aren't people tryin to kill me"

Chopper

There are are loads of smart one liners from old chop chop,if u aint seen it u have got to its a must see film.

Girl In Bar
"So which do you prefer Rodney grass or astroturf ?"

Rodney
"I dunno i've never smoked astroturf"

So I'm backing out the door, right, and I got the TV, like this; it was a big old thing, I couldn't see s***; suddenly I hear this voice, "Police, kid, hands in the air." You know, I was standing there, holdin' on to that TV, so finally the voice says, "You hear what I said, boy?" And I say, "Yes sir, I sure did, but if I drop this f***ing thing you got me on destruction of property too."

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Trigger: If it's a girl, they're calling her Sigourney, after an actress. And if it's a boy, they're naming him Rodney ... after Dave.

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Trigger: What you up to Dave?
Rodney: I'm listening to Mozart's Concerto No.5 in D-Minor.
Trigger: No words to this song Dave?
Rodney: No Trigger, it's an instrumental.
Del Boy: All right Trigger? What you doing?
Trigger: I'm listening to Mozart's Concerto No.5 in D-Minor.
Del Boy: Okay.
Trigger: It's the karaoke version.

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Rodney: Trigger what are you doing here?
Trigger: Well Dave, Del Boy said he'd give me a lift down the pub.
Rodney: Oh I suppose that's... Hold on, you live closer to the pub then we do?
Trigger: Yeah I know, but Del Boy said he'd give me a lift down the pub.
Rodney: But Trigger, you've had walk past the pub to get to our flat!
Trigger: I know, but Del Boy said he'd give me a lift down the pub.

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MISSED MORE THAN YOU'LL EVER KNOW
RIP LUKE 26.5.1987-3.4.2004
[Link]

jonsey have you ever thought of being a script writer?

"GERTCHA"

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It was a great line, but it was spoken by Viv Savage, the fat keyboard player. I know this because I am a fat keyboard player myself.
Another fantastic piece of dialogue from that is:

Nigal Tufnel: The numbers all go to eleven. Look, right across the board, eleven, eleven, eleven and...
Marty DiBergi: Oh, I see. And most amps go up to ten?
Nigel Tufnel: Exactly.
Marty DiBergi: Does that mean it's louder? Is it any louder?
Nigel Tufnel: Well, it's one louder, isn't it? It's not ten. You see, most blokes, you know, will be playing at ten. You're on ten here, all the way up, all the way up, all the way up, you're on ten on your guitar. Where can you go from there? Where?
Marty DiBergi: I don't know.
Nigel Tufnel: Nowhere. Exactly. What we do is, if we need that extra push over the cliff, you know what we do?
Marty DiBergi: Put it up to eleven.
Nigel Tufnel: Eleven. Exactly. One louder.
Marty DiBergi: Why don't you just make ten louder and make ten be the top number and make that a little louder?
Nigel Tufnel: [Pause] These go to eleven.

Damnit!! Why's everyone taking the good ones

It's just a matter of crossing the i's and dotting the t's

From Love honour and obey,"Fix Bayonetts!!!!" you've got to see it

PETER TAYLORS RED BLUE ARMY!!! - Impossible is nothing